My Micro-Short Video Finalist in over 2000 entries!
(Save it, Baby! Count me in!)
So, it goes like this . . .
My Micro-Short for B&H Video got 37th Finalist position out of over 2000 entries!!
Watch it, Y’all!
xoxo
Belle
—–
Digital Edition only $0.99
Writer’s Digest Awarded “E.B. White and Me.” Get your copy today!
Available for ALL DIGITAL READERS!
Available at Amazon!
E.B. White and Me
xoxo
Belle
FIRST PLACE WINNER – MOFILM Los Angeles, Next SXSW competition in Austin, then Barcelona, Spain!
A 78th Annual Writer’s Digest Award Winning Author
Finalist 2011 Top 25 Semi-Finalist Los Angeles Comedy Festival
Finalist 2011 10th FilmMakers International Screenwriting Awards (1st Round Qualifier — Still in Running)
Finalist 2011 New York City Gotham Film Festival – Final 5th Place Comedy
Finalist and 1st Runner Up Screenwriting Comp
Top 24 Finalist Los Angeles Reel Film Festival 2011
Contest Top 20 Finalist Atlanta PeachTree Film Festival 2011
Top 24 Finalist SkyFest Film Festival 2011
— Announcing “PICKLED TINK” — Screwball Comedy Screenplay! Belle Karper,
— Announcing “MAKING UP WITH MORTELLA” — Dark Comedy about Good and Evil, the magic of MakeUp and the Beauty of the Heart.
Award-Winning Author, Screenwriter, Speaker, Humor, Comedy, Suspense, Tragedy www.BelleKarper.com Email Belle@BelleKarper.com WHY THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK – An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor Check out Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog! and Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle – The Ridiculous Escapades of Belle Karper on YouTube!
All on Website Save it, Baby! Count me in! 
And, of course, watch my Skydiving Video.
Mountain Biking Malibu Backbone Trail (Pics)
(Save it, Baby! Count me in!)
So, it goes like this . . .
Can you freaking believe it’s 86 degrees in January?
Hmmm… sorry East Coasters… and well, most anywhere but here.
So we have to get out an crunch some rocks, man!
Check out these pics… Awesome, Jack!
Wow! What at view! That glare is the Ocean, yeah!
So we are riding up and down…
Yeah, that's me in the front...
Still in front!
You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread man! (Way in front... the dot!)
Oh yeah... Nice A$$! I mean, nice view!
Only the best... Knolly.
Take this view to the bank, man!
So get out and ride a bike, dude.
Super great.
Yeah!
xoxo
Belle
—–
Digital Edition only $0.99
Writer’s Digest Awarded “E.B. White and Me.” Get your copy today!
Available for ALL DIGITAL READERS!
Available at Amazon!
E.B. White and Me
xoxo
Belle
FIRST PLACE WINNER – MOFILM Los Angeles, Next SXSW competition in Austin, then Barcelona, Spain!
A 78th Annual Writer’s Digest Award Winning Author
Finalist 2011 Top 25 Semi-Finalist Los Angeles Comedy Festival
Finalist 2011 10th FilmMakers International Screenwriting Awards (1st Round Qualifier — Still in Running)
Finalist 2011 New York City Gotham Film Festival – Final 5th Place Comedy
Finalist and 1st Runner Up Screenwriting Comp
Top 24 Finalist Los Angeles Reel Film Festival 2011
Contest Top 20 Finalist Atlanta PeachTree Film Festival 2011
Top 24 Finalist SkyFest Film Festival 2011
— Announcing “PICKLED TINK” — Screwball Comedy Screenplay! Belle Karper,
— Announcing “MAKING UP WITH MORTELLA” — Dark Comedy about Good and Evil, the magic of MakeUp and the Beauty of the Heart.
Award-Winning Author, Screenwriter, Speaker, Humor, Comedy, Suspense, Tragedy www.BelleKarper.com Email Belle@BelleKarper.com WHY THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK – An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor Check out Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog! and Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle – The Ridiculous Escapades of Belle Karper on YouTube!
All on Website Save it, Baby! Count me in!
And, of course, watch my Skydiving Video.
Annual Silver Bash… Naughty Rules! (Pics)
(Save it, Baby! Count me in!)
So, it goes like this . . .
This is the season, right?
Right.
To tie one on…
Get a little wacky.
Pre-Alcohol, yo.
Well… you have to start somehwere…
Then we go to the party…
Of course we argued about the directions to get there.
We ARE married. Gosh.
Say Hello to the Hostess... Hello Lisa. Where's the bar?
So we make the necessary rounds…
Hell-o-o! A girl's gotta eat.
Drinks and food in hand…
Well, needless to say, we didn’t talk to anyone for about eight minutes…
I had to pound down these delicioso edibles, Jack!
… … … 😉
Now it’s time to mingle and get cozy…
Hello mingles and cozies!
Gotta say hello to some buds…
Hey Buds!
Hey more Buds!
Too many freaking Buds... where is the bar again?
Answer Me!
Where’s the bar again?!
Do they keep moving the bar?
Okay now, drink in hand, time to mingle.
A beautiful Animation Director/Producer
Grab a dessert, I mean my husband!
Well he’s yummy, you know.
Met the director of Mulan 2.
He’s a fiesty, fun man. We kept jumping into other people’s pictures together.
He is better at it than me.
Man, his neck is FAST.
The night grew older, and just before the Gift Exchange/Steal/Knock-Down-Drag-Out began…
My besties had to get a fun picture!
And, No... you CAN'T see my Woo-Woo!
But great legs, huh?
The rest out of that was undocumentable… (is that a word?!)
Happy Holidays All!
Enjoy and Drive Safely.
Xoxo
Belle
Digital Edition only $0.99
Writer’s Digest Awarded “E.B. White and Me.” Get your copy today!
Available for ALL DIGITAL READERS!
Available at Amazon!
E.B. White and Me
xoxo
Belle
FIRST PLACE WINNER – MOFILM Los Angeles, Next SXSW competition in Austin, then Barcelona, Spain!
A 78th Annual Writer’s Digest Award Winning Author
Finalist 2011 Top 25 Semi-Finalist Los Angeles Comedy Festival
Finalist 2011 10th FilmMakers International Screenwriting Awards (1st Round Qualifier — Still in Running)
Finalist 2011 New York City Gotham Film Festival – Final 5th Place Comedy
Finalist and 1st Runner Up Screenwriting Comp
Top 24 Finalist Los Angeles Reel Film Festival 2011
Contest Top 20 Finalist Atlanta PeachTree Film Festival 2011
Top 24 Finalist SkyFest Film Festival 2011
— Announcing “PICKLED TINK” — Screwball Comedy Screenplay! Belle Karper,
— Announcing “MAKING UP WITH MORTELLA” — Dark Comedy about Good and Evil, the magic of MakeUp and the Beauty of the Heart.
Award-Winning Author, Screenwriter, Speaker, Humor, Comedy, Suspense, Tragedy www.BelleKarper.com Email Belle@BelleKarper.com WHY THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK – An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor Check out Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog! and Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle – The Ridiculous Escapades of Belle Karper on YouTube!
All on Website Save it, Baby! Count me in!
And, of course, watch my Skydiving Video.
About my husband…
(Save it, Baby! Count me in!)
So, it goes like this . . .
I need to tell you about my husband…
Here I am, ready to party, right?
There I was, dressed to the nines, on my way to the IWOSC Holiday Gala.
Sitting in a brand-new car that I just bought, which will remain nameless.
I’m driving down the road, away from my house to meet up my with “group of the night” wackos, with whom I intend to tip several martinis and cause a general disturbance.
My friends and I made plans to all drive into the city in a car together so that we could talk and laugh… With one poor sap, I mean designated driver to be left out in the uninebriated cold. 😉
Not me! Yay!
So there I am, driving down the street, when I hear this horrible scraping sound near the bottom of my car.
I look around at the other cars and I’m thinking, “Who’s piece of crap is making that noise?”
I drive forward, but this sound seems to follow me.
I stare at the blue car next to me with a sort of frowny face – you know, that “Get that piece of crap away from me, you’re making me look bad” kind of face.
You know, a normal “girl” face.
Yeah. That face.
What do you expect?
I’m dressed up.
I’m going to a gala.
Stop freaking stop stalking me with your nasty-crappy broken car!
Jeez!
The blue car pulls away, and then I inch forward… only to hear that scrapy-rumply sound carry along with me.
WTF?
So I pull into the left lane, waiting for the red light, trying to figure out what the heck was going on.
I open my driver side door, and there it is…
A flat tire.
A flatter than flat tire, of the likes I have never seen.
Flatter than my grandma’s German pancakes!
Flatter than my first training bra!
Flatter than Nicki Minaj’s note that she holds in that one song– EEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeEee…
Now, that’s flat!
Holy F— sh–… well, let’s just say that my mouth wasn’t as pretty as my dress was.
Have to cross three lanes of traffic turning left, going about a foot per second…
That is slooooooooow, maaaaaaaaaan.
You can imagine how popular I was to the oncoming traffic.
I had so many middle fingers pointing at me, it probably comprised a whole hand… Maybe two… Maybe three.
Who’s counting?
Hey! I’ve got middle fingers of my own, you know.
However, I was so beautifully dressed, my hair so beautifully coiffed, and my my make-up so beautifully spread, that I was not about to tarnish all that darn beauty with a bunch of foul F-ing language…
So I am glad to tell you that I appraised the situation with inward “F. U’s.”
Inward.
You would have been proud of me.
I then had to pull into a parking lot at that horrifying-lightning-slow speed. I was as popular with the people now behind me as with the people I had just passed.
“Screw you!” I am thinking… Inwardly.
Ever inward.
This inward stuff sucks!
I finally found a parking space. One of those “small” ones. A freaking “compact” spot.
But hey, it’s all I got. I guess I can have to suffer the fact that someone will whack the sides my brand-new car door.
That almost irritates me as much as the flat tire.
So yes, yes! I AM LATE NOW.
I hate to be late.
And, now… I have to make the call of shame…
Crap, I hate that call of shame…
“Hey, I–”
“We’re on our way.”
“I got a flat tire. (Ugh.) Can you pick me up?” I ask my friends.
So we go through the verbal-telephone-dance of improper directions, until I am finally able to let them know (with some sort of minimal success) where I am deflated.
Now, the worst part.
I have to call my husband.
I hate being rescued.
I am a woman, God dammit!
I should be able to handle these things myself!
I should be able to call AAA, and have this flat tire… this tire that has ruined my day… and interrupted my night… fixed.
Right?
But heck… I’m all dressed up.
I have a party to go to.
I’ve got three martinis at least with my name on them.
And, those are big-assed martinis…
Call of shame #2…
“Hi hon–”
“Have fun tonight!” he says so sweetly.
I cringe.
Crap.
“I’ve got a flat tire.”
“Aaaah. I’m sorry. Just call AAA.”
“I can’t! I’m already late for the party!”
“But you’ve got a flat… you have to fix it.”
Ummmm.
And, this is where I will have to ask a question.
A difficult question, yes.
A painful question, especially for a woman such as I, considering my strength and resolve, the things I have gone through… yes, this next question will be particularly hard.
And then, after that question, there will be a sentence.
A breath, and then an utterance, and then a sentence.
A sentence that will determine what kind of man I married.
This next sentence, will tell me… if he is “hero” material…
Do I really want to have this confirmed… or denied?
Do I really want to know the answer to this question so early in our married life?
We are still on our honeymoon phase, for God’s sake.
Am I ready to find out… if he can be… a hero… for me?
I look at my watch.
I pretend it has a secondhand, so that I can imagine the seconds that are ticking by.
He persists, “You have your AAA card, don’t you?”
“Yeah, but… I… I’m… I mean… I’m late for the gala thing. And I don’t have time to wait for AAA…”
Silence on the other end…
I continue, “can YOU come after work and do the AAA thingy?”
There. I said it. I asked it.
Now I wait.
Hero? Not hero?
“You want leave your car there and pick it up after your party?”
“Well, I will have been drinking… you know…”
Which is true. I would be useless at that point.
I look for my ride. Not there yet. My party co-horts are still driving trying to find me. I have a little time… to wait… for my hero to emerge…
“No Problem.”
What? What am I hearing?
Is that my hero talking?
“After work, I’ll come and change your tire.”
“You will?”
He will?
He will!
Of course, he will!
“You’d do the same for me, right?”
I would?
I mean, “I would. I mean of course I would! Gosh-yeah. Extra keys are on the hook, okay?”
“Of course, baby! Now you go out and have fun at your party.”
Do I hear a Hero, talking or what?!
That’s a Hero, alright!
And, guess what? He’s MY Hero! And, dare I say it… It seems that he loves me!
Ooops! There are the girls, “I gotta go, honey. My friends are here. And, thank you! I love you!”
“I love you, too.”
Eureka!
As I stepped out of my 3/4-inflated car, and sashayed in all my doll-ness to the awaiting car of giggles and glee.
I looked back on my humbled car with confidence, knowing that my Hero was en-route.
Let me tell you – that is a super-fine feeling– to know that your Hero is on his way…
SOOOO…..Let it be known that I had a great time at the gala. Green Martinis and all…
And somewhere half way through the night, after he personally had changed my tire…
With his own two hands, no less… and a jack.
After he removed each lug nut, probably silently cursing my name…
And, dang that I missed that he was probably that scruffy-sexy-dirty… you know that kind of sexy-dirty… where he’s a man, doing manly things, getting manly dirty, and well dang, it manly-sexy hot!
Yeah, I missed all that…
Dang.
But, my phone buzzed as George was serving us decaf coffee and cream, my husband sent me a text, “Hope you’re having a great time. Car is back, the flat tire is changed.”
What a guy? What an amazing, wonderful guy.
And, the cursing part, well that’s okay, because he IS a man.
A freaking hot-sexy-manly man!
Man that uses his manly powers to have his way with me…
… … … 😉
And, well, ladies, I have to tell you that It’s good to test your men from time to time, to find out if they are heroes or not.
Because every once in a while, and I don’t mean everyday, but every once in a while you might just need your very own Hero.
Girls… and it’s okay to be rescued every-so-often… (not TOO often)… and how wonderful that it be from the one man in the world that you love the most.
(Yay!)
BTW, he’s MY hero, Chicas.
Back off, bi-atches!
Now I’ve got to go smudge my lipstick to thank him…
Well… he IS a man… 😉
Xoxo
Belle
My Manly Man Hero… and Me!
—–
Digital Edition only $0.99
Writer’s Digest Awarded “E.B. White and Me.” Get your copy today!
Available for ALL DIGITAL READERS!
Available at Amazon!
E.B. White and Me
xoxo
Belle
FIRST PLACE WINNER – MOFILM Los Angeles, Next SXSW competition in Austin, then Barcelona, Spain!
A 78th Annual Writer’s Digest Award Winning Author
Finalist 2011 Top 25 Semi-Finalist Los Angeles Comedy Festival
Finalist 2011 10th FilmMakers International Screenwriting Awards (1st Round Qualifier — Still in Running)
Finalist 2011 New York City Gotham Film Festival – Final 5th Place Comedy
Finalist and 1st Runner Up Screenwriting Comp
Top 24 Finalist Los Angeles Reel Film Festival 2011
Contest Top 20 Finalist Atlanta PeachTree Film Festival 2011
Top 24 Finalist SkyFest Film Festival 2011
— Announcing “PICKLED TINK” — Screwball Comedy Screenplay! Belle Karper,
— Announcing “MAKING UP WITH MORTELLA” — Dark Comedy about Good and Evil, the magic of MakeUp and the Beauty of the Heart.
Award-Winning Author, Screenwriter, Speaker, Humor, Comedy, Suspense, Tragedy www.BelleKarper.com Email Belle@BelleKarper.com Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog! and Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle – The Ridiculous Escapades of Belle Karper on YouTube!
All on Website Save it, Baby! Count me in!
And, of course, watch my Skydiving Video.
IWOSC Holiday Dinner Gala at Los Angeles Biltmore
(Save it, Baby! Count me in!)
So, it goes like this . . .
Well, it time of year again!
The time for laughing loud, green martinis, and general mayhem!
So let’s get this party started!
Belle's on the way to the ball!
Where's the freaking car? Let's get out of here!
West Valley contingent holding up the dang tree!
Where's my martini?
Sitting on Santa Steven Sanchez's lap!
Oh yeah!... naughty Santa!
Can you believe that I GOT A FLAT TIRE on the way there, and STILL HAD THIS MUCH FUN??!!
Digital Edition only $0.99
Writer’s Digest Awarded “E.B. White and Me.” Get your copy today!
Available for ALL DIGITAL READERS!
Available at Amazon!
E.B. White and Me
xoxo
Belle
FIRST PLACE WINNER – MOFILM Los Angeles, Next SXSW competition in Austin, then Barcelona, Spain!
A 78th Annual Writer’s Digest Award Winning Author
Finalist 2011 Top 25 Semi-Finalist Los Angeles Comedy Festival
Finalist 2011 10th FilmMakers International Screenwriting Awards (1st Round Qualifier — Still in Running)
Finalist 2011 New York City Gotham Film Festival – Final 5th Place Comedy
Finalist and 1st Runner Up Screenwriting Comp
Top 24 Finalist Los Angeles Reel Film Festival 2011
Contest Top 20 Finalist Atlanta PeachTree Film Festival 2011
Top 24 Finalist SkyFest Film Festival 2011
— Announcing “PICKLED TINK” — Screwball Comedy Screenplay! Belle Karper,
— Announcing “MAKING UP WITH MORTELLA” — Dark Comedy about Good and Evil, the magic of MakeUp and the Beauty of the Heart.
Award-Winning Author, Screenwriter, Speaker, Humor, Comedy, Suspense, Tragedy www.BelleKarper.com Email Belle@BelleKarper.com WHY THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK – An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor Check out Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog! and Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle – The Ridiculous Escapades of Belle Karper on YouTube!
All on Website Save it, Baby! Count me in!
And, of course, watch my Skydiving Video.
“E. B. White and Me” Now Available for ALL Digital Formats!
(Save it, Baby! Count me in!)
So, it goes like this . . .
Digital Edition only $0.99
Writer’s Digest Awarded “E.B. White and Me.” Get your copy today!
Available for ALL DIGITAL READERS!
Available at Amazon!
E.B. White and Me
xoxo
Belle
FIRST PLACE WINNER – MOFILM Los Angeles, Next SXSW competition in Austin, then Barcelona, Spain!
A 78th Annual Writer’s Digest Award Winning Author
Finalist 2011 Top 25 Semi-Finalist Los Angeles Comedy Festival
Finalist 2011 10th FilmMakers International Screenwriting Awards (1st Round Qualifier — Still in Running)
Finalist 2011 New York City Gotham Film Festival – Final 5th Place Comedy
Finalist and 1st Runner Up Screenwriting Comp
Top 24 Finalist Los Angeles Reel Film Festival 2011
Contest Top 20 Finalist Atlanta PeachTree Film Festival 2011
Top 24 Finalist SkyFest Film Festival 2011
— Announcing “PICKLED TINK” — Screwball Comedy Screenplay! Belle Karper,
— Announcing “MAKING UP WITH MORTELLA” — Dark Comedy about Good and Evil, the magic of MakeUp and the Beauty of the Heart.
Award-Winning Author, Screenwriter, Speaker, Humor, Comedy, Suspense, Tragedy www.BelleKarper.com Email Belle@BelleKarper.com WHY THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK – An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor Check out Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog! and Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle – The Ridiculous Escapades of Belle Karper on YouTube!
All on Website Save it, Baby! Count me in!
And, of course, watch my Skydiving Video.
Me and E.B. White
(Save it, Baby! Count me in!)
So, it goes like this . . .
This Award-Winning Short Shory has been removed so that you may buy it at
Be well,
Belle
S. Belle Karper, Author, Speaker www.BelleKarper.com
THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK – An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor
Check out S. Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog!
Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle – all on Website
Save it, Baby! Count me in!
Ouch . . . Nail Guy
So here I am, sitting in my nail salon having my nails drilled down to the micro-bit. I think there’s just a nano-distance bit of cellular nail fiber film between his drill and my awaiting pain and doom. I look at him while he wears a mask, so that he does not inhale any of these carcinogenic dust flakes that he’s creating as he is whizzing my nail down to a mere memory.
Why don’t I have a mask? Are my lungs not entitled to the same ridiculous standard ─ considering that I am paying for this service?
He resumes his irritated glance and bats my hands down because they are moving too much. And, I am thinking, “If you want a tip, baby, you better not hit me again.”
He’s frigging expensive, man.
He responds by yelling something in a foreign language to Mary, my pedicure girl who working diligently on my toes. I’m sure that it’s a compliment to my fashion prowess. And, I am also sure that her real name is not Mary.
Why do I put up with this? I will tell you why . . .
He and I have gone through this dance for more than 14 years now. My daughter is 16 and I have been coming to my “Nail Guy” since I moved here when my daughter was two. You’d think that we’d have a better relationship than we do, but he is socially inept and I am impatient. I put up with him because he is literally the best.
He is THE BEST “Nail Guy” this side of the Mississippi.
My nails can go unattended, even brutalized by my lack of care for four weeks, or more if I am away, and they look completely natural. There is no line. Yes, He is THAT GOOD.
Do not even try to e-mail me to try and get his name, or his telephone number or where he works.
I will not give out this information. Period.
I would tell you my best friend is sleeping with before I divulge the name of my beloved Nail Guy.
Let’s face it. I do not want his time booked up. I want him to succeed, but I want his rude remarks and hand battings available to me whenever my schedule allows. So, don’t get any ideas. If you take my spot on the calendar, I will hunt you down and rip off every one of your perfectly manicured acrylic nails and shove them up your nose.
I’m mean, a girl’s got to do what girl’s got to do. I need my acrylics perfect, and my toes like little red rubies dotting the tops of my sandals. Please don’t get in my way. I have priorities and high heels. I know how to use them.
I must like his torment. After all, it has been 14 years of this carcinogenic conversational banter. For example, “You work busy today?”
I respond, “Yes.”
That’s the end of this impressive conversation until I am asked to pay up.
So, you can understand my need of the highly fingered stack of magazines which include People, “Cosmo,” InStyle and O (Oprah).
And, I HAVE to read them all.
There is nothing else for me to do to distract myself from the dremel buzzing my nail beds into obscurity. Otherwise, I am likely to throw up on him out of fear that he might actually transcend the layer of cutonic matter and dive into my poor little nail “moon” that is just idly sitting there minding it’s little own nail-business. Right?
There is a brief moment, where he dust off his desk with a large purple brush, which of course drives all those white particles off his working stations and onto my nice black linen pants. Great. It looks like I have dandruff issues below the belt. Not nice, kids. Like I said there’s this brief moment where he has to do a little housework on his desk, and I now have a chance to look down at my all buzzed nails, only to see that they are thinner than the one-ply toilet paper that I just used on my refined derriere when I went to go pee.
Each time when I get this ridiculous urge, I think I’m going to faint when they see how thin my nails are. You’d would think that after 14 years I would learn not to look at my fingers at this stage of this salon service. That I would just continue to read about “all the sex that I am doing wrong” in my July 08 Cosmopolitan. 2008? Hello? However, curiosity gets to the better of me on these bi-weekly visits, and I continue to almost keel over at the blatant and frail condition of my pinchers.
“Blaaaaah! Don’t look, you idiot,” I say to myself.
Okay, now, okay. Breathe in. Out. Everything’s fine.
He slams his hand down on the table two times. This is his charming attempt at communication to have me put my hands back on the table. Like I said, he and I have a ritual, I didn’t say it was nice.
Without any argument on my part however, I am quick to get my nails “filled” again so that they will not fold backward when I am shoving a taco in my mouth. We do live in Southern California. And, I do love tacos. I promptly respond by putting my hands on the platform and try to smile in a charming, pale kind of way (since I was just about to pass out) that I had just been reminded of just how much I need him for my day-to-day survival.
When all of the stock markets went to hell, I had a brilliant thought that I might try to save money by not getting my nails done every two weeks. So after about six weeks, my nails started to split at the top and then break off. Layered little peelings of these acrylic wonders started shedding themselves, revealing the fragile state of my actual nails. I tried for four weeks after that, where then my “real” nails were breaking below the skin with vertical cracks. Ouch. I could barely pick up a tampon, much less put this “thrill stick” in, without the looming expectation of 10 fingered agony.
So, I guess it took me only 10 weeks to figure out ─ one week for each dangerously painful regressing nail bed on each of my beloved food pushers. Yes, it became quite evident, that I needed my “Nail Guy” in at least ten unbearably stinging, splitting and throbbing ways.
Let’s just say it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that my nails were more important than putting shoes on my kid’s feet.
We all wear flip-flops now, but my nails look great . . .
Go figure.
So, let this be a lesson to you ─ the market can go to hell, your husband can complain of tuna salad sandwiches for the 7th dinner in a row, your children can wear what we affectionately used to call “flood pants” (while convincing them that this is the current style . . .), your “Nail Guy” can bat your hand hard enough that you could actually allege physical abuse and have a case, and that your lungs aren’t worthy of the even the lowliest Home Depot-style facemask ─ but, all of that is unimportant if you don’t keep your priorities straight.
Regardless the cost, your nails must remain beautiful.
Yes. I just got them done. I am staring longing at their beauty, and begin the fear my upcoming appointment at 1:30p.m. in fourteen days. Until then . . . nailed bliss.
And, no, I repeat, I will not give out his name.
You’ve got to out and find your own “Nail Guy.”
Good luck. I’m thinking about starting up a website called “NailGuyMatch.com.” Until then, happy acrylic-ing . . .
Keep those cards and letters coming!
Be well,
Belle
S. Belle Karper, Author, Speaker www.BelleKarper.com
THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK – An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor
Check out S. Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog!
Twitter-Belle – all on Website
Buy Belle’s Books
Red Hot Love Or... Radar Love? Which is it?
Buy Belle’s Books
Buy BelleKarper's Books
Belle’s Awards
FADE IN Awards - Finalist
Las Vegas Film Festival – Official Finalist
Las Vegas Film Festival - Official Finalist
Writer's Digest Award-Winning Author
2012 Winner Best Dramedy, 2010 First Runner Up Comedy
FINALIST -- Broad Humor Film Festival
Beverly Hills Film Festival - Official Selection Finalist
Writer's Digest Awarded Aurthor
MOFILM - 1st Place Los Angeles/USA, Finalist Barcelona
L.A. Comedy Festival - Finalist
Belle's Winner's Circle
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