My Micro-Short Video Finalist in over 2000 entries!

 

(Save it, Baby! Count me in!)

So, it goes like this . . .

My Micro-Short for B&H Video got 37th Finalist position out of over 2000 entries!!

Watch it, Y’all!

xoxo

Belle

—–

Digital Edition only $0.99

Writer’s Digest Awarded “E.B. White and Me.” Get your copy today!

Available for ALL DIGITAL READERS!

Available at Amazon!

E.B. White and Me

BUY IT TODAY!

xoxo

Belle

www.BelleKarper.com

FIRST PLACE WINNER – MOFILM Los Angeles, Next SXSW competition in Austin, then Barcelona, Spain!

A 78th Annual Writer’s Digest Award Winning Author

Finalist 2011 Top 25 Semi-Finalist Los Angeles Comedy Festival

Finalist 2011 10th FilmMakers International Screenwriting Awards (1st Round Qualifier — Still in Running)

Finalist 2011 New York City Gotham Film Festival – Final 5th Place Comedy

Finalist and 1st Runner Up Screenwriting Comp

Top 24 Finalist Los Angeles Reel Film Festival 2011

Contest Top 20 Finalist Atlanta PeachTree Film Festival 2011

Top 24 Finalist SkyFest Film Festival 2011

— Announcing  “PICKLED TINK” — Screwball Comedy Screenplay!   Belle Karper,

— Announcing  “MAKING UP WITH MORTELLA” — Dark Comedy about Good and Evil, the magic of MakeUp and the Beauty of the Heart.

Award-Winning Author, Screenwriter, Speaker, Humor, Comedy, Suspense, Tragedy www.BelleKarper.com                         Email Belle@BelleKarper.com WHY THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK – An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor Check out Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog! and Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle – The Ridiculous Escapades of Belle Karper on YouTube!

All on Website Save it, Baby! Count me in!

And, of course, watch my Skydiving Video.

Mountain Biking Malibu Backbone Trail (Pics)

(Save it, Baby! Count me in!)

So, it goes like this . . .

Can you freaking believe it’s 86 degrees in January?

Hmmm… sorry East Coasters… and well, most anywhere but here.

So we have to get out an crunch some rocks, man!

Check out these pics… Awesome, Jack!

Wow! What at view! That glare is the Ocean, yeah!

So we are riding up and down…

Yeah, that's me in the front...

Still in front!

You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread man! (Way in front... the dot!)

Oh yeah... Nice A$$! I mean, nice view!

Only the best... Knolly.

Take this view to the bank, man!

So get out and ride a bike, dude.

Super great.

Yeah!

xoxo

Belle

—–

Watch my Micro-Short for B&H Video:

—–

Digital Edition only $0.99

Writer’s Digest Awarded “E.B. White and Me.” Get your copy today!

Available for ALL DIGITAL READERS!

Available at Amazon!

E.B. White and Me

BUY IT TODAY!

xoxo

Belle

www.BelleKarper.com

FIRST PLACE WINNER – MOFILM Los Angeles, Next SXSW competition in Austin, then Barcelona, Spain!

A 78th Annual Writer’s Digest Award Winning Author

Finalist 2011 Top 25 Semi-Finalist Los Angeles Comedy Festival

Finalist 2011 10th FilmMakers International Screenwriting Awards (1st Round Qualifier — Still in Running)

Finalist 2011 New York City Gotham Film Festival – Final 5th Place Comedy

Finalist and 1st Runner Up Screenwriting Comp

Top 24 Finalist Los Angeles Reel Film Festival 2011

Contest Top 20 Finalist Atlanta PeachTree Film Festival 2011

Top 24 Finalist SkyFest Film Festival 2011

— Announcing  “PICKLED TINK” — Screwball Comedy Screenplay!   Belle Karper,

— Announcing  “MAKING UP WITH MORTELLA” — Dark Comedy about Good and Evil, the magic of MakeUp and the Beauty of the Heart.

Award-Winning Author, Screenwriter, Speaker, Humor, Comedy, Suspense, Tragedy www.BelleKarper.com                         Email Belle@BelleKarper.com WHY THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK – An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor Check out Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog! and Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle – The Ridiculous Escapades of Belle Karper on YouTube!

All on Website Save it, Baby! Count me in!

And, of course, watch my Skydiving Video.

Annual Silver Bash… Naughty Rules! (Pics)

(Save it, Baby! Count me in!)

So, it goes like this . . .

This is the season, right?

Right.

To tie one on…

Get a little wacky.

Pre-Alcohol, yo.

Well… you have to start somehwere…

Then we go to the party…

Of course we argued about the directions to get there.

We ARE married. Gosh.

Say Hello to the Hostess... Hello Lisa. Where's the bar?

So we make the necessary rounds…

Hell-o-o! A girl's gotta eat.

Drinks and food in hand…

Well, needless to say, we didn’t talk to anyone for about eight minutes…

I had to pound down these delicioso edibles, Jack!

… … …  😉

Now it’s time to mingle and get cozy…

Hello mingles and cozies!

Gotta say hello to some buds…

Hey Buds!

Hey more Buds!

Too many freaking Buds... where is the bar again?

Answer Me!

Where’s the bar again?!

Do they keep moving the bar?

Okay now, drink in hand, time to mingle.

A beautiful Animation Director/Producer

Grab a dessert, I mean my husband!

Well he’s yummy, you know.

Met the director of Mulan 2.

He’s a fiesty, fun man. We kept jumping into other people’s pictures together.

He is better at it than me.

Man, his neck is FAST.

The night grew older, and just before the Gift Exchange/Steal/Knock-Down-Drag-Out began…

My besties had to get a fun picture!

And, No... you CAN'T see my Woo-Woo!

But great legs, huh?

The rest out of that was undocumentable… (is that a word?!)

Happy Holidays All!

Enjoy and Drive Safely.

Xoxo

Belle

—–

Digital Edition only $0.99

Writer’s Digest Awarded “E.B. White and Me.” Get your copy today!

Available for ALL DIGITAL READERS!

Available at Amazon!

E.B. White and Me

BUY IT TODAY!

xoxo

Belle

www.BelleKarper.com

FIRST PLACE WINNER – MOFILM Los Angeles, Next SXSW competition in Austin, then Barcelona, Spain!

A 78th Annual Writer’s Digest Award Winning Author

Finalist 2011 Top 25 Semi-Finalist Los Angeles Comedy Festival

Finalist 2011 10th FilmMakers International Screenwriting Awards (1st Round Qualifier — Still in Running)

Finalist 2011 New York City Gotham Film Festival – Final 5th Place Comedy

Finalist and 1st Runner Up Screenwriting Comp

Top 24 Finalist Los Angeles Reel Film Festival 2011

Contest Top 20 Finalist Atlanta PeachTree Film Festival 2011

Top 24 Finalist SkyFest Film Festival 2011

— Announcing  “PICKLED TINK” — Screwball Comedy Screenplay!   Belle Karper,

— Announcing  “MAKING UP WITH MORTELLA” — Dark Comedy about Good and Evil, the magic of MakeUp and the Beauty of the Heart.

Award-Winning Author, Screenwriter, Speaker, Humor, Comedy, Suspense, Tragedy www.BelleKarper.com                         Email Belle@BelleKarper.com WHY THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK – An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor Check out Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog! and Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle – The Ridiculous Escapades of Belle Karper on YouTube!

All on Website Save it, Baby! Count me in!

And, of course, watch my Skydiving Video.

This is one of the things I want to be when I grow up…

 (Save it, Baby! Count me in!)

So, it goes like this . . .

 

This is one of the things I want to be when I grow up…

Someday…

Someday, I want to be old … (SOMEDAY, and that is a VERY long time away for all you little snickerdoodles out there…)

Don’t laugh…

It’s a gosh gosh dang ding darn dern far off time… okay?

You guys are distracting me…

Like I said…

Someday, I want to be old… and… sexy…

Okay… since I am reasonably young (Yes, I fricking am!) and reasonably sexy (ditto!)

I think I will be okay when I get older.

So, back to the subject… whatever that is…

Well, a lot of you know that I am an avid mountain biker.

My husband is away in Utah right this very minute, climbing the fin of some extraordinary mountain top… and, tomorrow he is going to Bryce.

Dingleberry.

I’m jealous.

Oh, yeah, and I miss him…   😉

He had to go without me since I am staying at here to do the “Mommy Thing” to document the kids’ High School Homecoming Dance.

Eeeeek! So fun!

I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

Don’t you just know that they love me taking all those pictures of them and their friends!

Right.

Well, I take them any way because it’s my fricking vicarious moment, okay?

I digress… well, I guess I digressed a couple times… but, hell, I am a woman and subject to all kinds of hormones and leakage… what do you want from me, okay?

Okay…

Breathe…

So, I love to mountain bike, and my husband is away, so I am going to have to “take care of business” if you know what I mean.

….

Research, okay.

“Taking care of business” is research… man!

I swear, you guys are just too naughty.

You know, I really like that…

That naughty thing!

In any event, this man is one of the things I would like to be when I grow up…

Except, that I would want to be a woman…

Without hair on my legs… or my upper lip… or out my ears…

And, I’d like to have my own set of teeth…

But, having the french accent would be mighty fine…

This man is someone to be admired… and I want to grow up and be just like him… also, without the cancer part, too.

He’s amazing… (Click the video!)

Be well,

Belle

S. Belle Karper, Author, Speaker www.BelleKarper.com
THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK – An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor
Check out S. Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog!
and Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle – all on Website
Save it, Baby! Count me in!

A Little Touch Up, Perhaps? Massage Anyone?

 (Save it, Baby! Count me in!)

So, it goes like this . . .

 

So I’m sitting at the spa, disrobing in the locker room.

Showing everybody my age via the slight little sag (and I am really not going to admit this sag thing) in my heart-shaped-best-damn-ass-this-side-of-the-Mississippi derriere . . .

Yeah boys, relax now, I was in the ladies locker room at my gym.

I say Spa, because it makes it sound really nifty and special, however the fact is is that it’s just an offshoot of my gym. So yeah, I am surrounded by aging sweaty female bodies that just got out of a “Body Blast”ing 50 minute core bending, arm-pit stinking, boob bouncing meltdown class. 

Yeeaaaa…uh…ugh…hmmm.

No.

Just try to envision this, there are women all around me that are “dropping-trou” and flopping breasts, with relaxed waists and cellulite butts.  Sweatin’ with the oldies . . .

Hey, as I look around and compare my (like I said my heart-shaped-best-damn-ass-this-side-of-the-Mississippi) derriere . . .

Against the other sweaty or pre-sweated asses . . .

I think to myself, I say . . .

(Come on, say it . . . if  I am thinking to myself, and I say something . . . come on . . . God, have I got to do everything here?)

Holy crap, okay . . .

And, I think to myself, I say . . . “Self . . .”

(See how easy that was?)

I digress.

I do that a lot.

So, as I look around at all of those younger and older “Sit Upons” I say to myself, I say, “Self — Hey! I’m feeling pretty good about myself! My ass is looking pretty fine!”

However, after comparing my goods to those others in the locker room . . . well, let’s just admit that maybe a thong shouldn’t be sold to women that could qualify for AARP.

I think that just about draws the line there, and even in semipublic situations a thong on women that age is just a whole bowl of throng wrong.

Should I have to be subjected to such sights? I ask you?

I . . . Mois . . . Me . . . Belle . . . don’t even wear a thong when I am going to gym. When I know that I might be viewed by someone else, even though as I said before, I do have the heart-shaped-best-damn-ass-this-side-of-the-Mississippi) . . .  

I think there should be standards set.

I have eyes don’t I?

I am not an animal!

I can discern objects that are scary to me!

Well, so I finally get my robe on in preparation for my massage. I finally hide the hide and resume coverage of my heart-shaped-best-damn-ass-this-side-of-the-Mississippi.

Ah . . . the comfort of a loose fitting robe. It hides all the demons, doesn’t it?

Well, like I said, they do treatments at my spa.

When I say treatments, I say and mean “Fluff Facials” (meaning we’re not going to be digging out those huge ugly pores on your face, Darling! You will have to go somewhere else for that) and some pretty exceptional massages.

They only service ladies at my gym, boys. So, you’re not going to be able to apply for a masseuse position.

Sorry. (Wink. Wink.)

So, let’s be frank here — I only go for the massages.

However you want to look at it, I am paying a professional to touch me all over my body . . .

Nice, right?

Hmmmmm . . . sounds naughty, doesn’t it?

Well, I guess if I were switching teams, then it would be . . . naughty.

 But, you boys dig that whole girl touching girl thing, don’t you?

Hate to burst your proverbial bubble heads . . . but, I just go there to be manipulated . . . uh, my muscles, that is.

My kids have the other manipulation thing down, man.

Let’s face it, I am here to escape. 

So, this is just a touch me, I need to be frigging touched and de-stressed, and know that I am not going to wind up have sex at the end of it . . .

Just relax . . . no energy . . .

I go in the “Relaxation Room.”

Where, I might add, everyone has a Goddamn robe on, thank you very much.

How can I relax if someone’s thong-split cheeks were sticking to the fricking chair I want to sit in?

No. Holy crap, right?

Thank you dear God, everyone’s got a nice little “spa” robe and and everyone is hidingthere questionable little asses . . . just like mine, my heart-shaped-best-damn-ass-this-side-of-the-Mississippi, is safely snuggled below the confines of the loose-fitting robe.

Aaaaaah.

Yes.

A little hot tea, perhaps?

Well, I don’t mind if I do!

A little dried apricot or almonds to quell that scant bit of hunger?

Well Darling, how thoughtful . . .

Okay, who the hell am I talking to?

These are the conversations that go on in my cornered little brain . . .

Hot tea, apricot, almonds. How charming, thank you!

Chomp. Sip. Swallow. Almond. Crunch. Swallow. Choke. Wrong Pipe. Hacking . . .  coughing. . . choking. . . Help! Goddammit! Stop frigging relaxing and hit me on the back . . . finally. Down. Swallow. Breathe. Aaaaah. Sip. Swallow. No more frigging almonds. Aaaaah. Hot tea. Sip. This is the life. No?

Relax . . .

Ottoman?

Well, sure!

Nice. Reclined. Sip.

“Belle . . .” she calls to me.

Karen?

Yes, my dear, Karen. Yes, it is she that is calling me . . .

Save me. Touch me. Thank you, my dear Karen.

I nod.

Slowly, and with reverence, I walk to the massage room.

She is my angel for the next 50 minutes. And, I will show her my appreciation at the end with a very large tip.

Insignificant to what she has given me. An hour of . . . bliss?

Yes, I walk slowly to the room . . . and take off my robe . . .

The next 50 minutes are mine . . . I paid good money for it. So, let me shut the door and get on with it!

Jeeze.

—

So, Y’all come back now, Y’hear?

Zen,

Be well,

Belle

S. Belle Karper, Author, Speaker www.BelleKarper.com
THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK – An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor
Check out S. Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog!
Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle – all on Website
Save it, Baby! Count me in!

I Woke Up Sounding Like Demi Moore…

 (Save it, Baby! Count me in!)

So, it goes like this . . .

I woke up sounding like Demi Moore.

Scratchy.

With a bit of a Southern Accent.

It would have sounded sexy if I didn’t have a fever and was feeling crappy.

My mood is good, but my body is lagging behind the game.

Bummer.

Good point, is that whoever talks to me on the phone has said that my voice has got them thinking naughty thoughts . . . too bad I don’t feel like acting on those thoughts today.

Double Bummer.

Be well, and I can get better!

Belle

S. Belle Karper, Author, Speaker www.BelleKarper.com
THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK – An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor
Check out S. Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog!
Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle – all on Website
Save it, Baby! Count me in!