NAMM! NAMM! NAMM! Hot Damn! — Day 1 (Pics)

NAMM was an incredible success!

I got tons of opportunities to talk about my upcoming books and potential screenplays and I have serious interest and participation!

So, enough talk…

Let’s get on with the pictures!

We’ll just open with a darn good picture of Cliff Williams, AC/DC and me!

But let’s back track a little!

Here’s me — too excited and getting ready!

The show started

on Thursday, but I happen to get there on Wednesday so that I could get all checked in and ready for the next day’s events.

In front of the big stage where the Legends concert will be Friday night.

I just couldn’t wait!Over 35 artists from legendary bands like The Motels, Three Dog Night, Blue Oyster Cult, Iron Maiden, Asia, Yes, Bad Company, BB King, Quiet Riot and more!

Did you know that this is the NAMM’s 7th annual living legends concert? I just hope it doesn’t rain!

Let it be known, that the (non-convention) hotel events start on Wednesday and serious partying begins immediately!

And, of course…

The shoes!

Everyone including artists, execs, videographers, photographers, manufacturers… Literally everybody that makes the music industry come together are here under this one roof!

Wow!

I can’t wait for tomorrow’s pics!! 😉

So, we’ll just say… There’s nothing to be any mountain biking for me today!

XOXO

Belle Karper

Stay well, my friends!

xoxo

Belle

Red Hot Love Or… Radar Love? Which is it?

Digital Edition only $0.99

Multi Award-Winning Author Get your copy today!

Available for ALL DIGITAL READERS!

—–

Digital Edition only $0.99

Writer’s Digest Awarded “E.B. White and Me.” Get your copy today!

Available for ALL DIGITAL READERS!

Available at Amazon!

E.B. White and Me

BUY IT TODAY!

xoxo

Belle

www.BelleKarper.com

Beverly Hills Film Festival – Official Selection Finalist

2012 Winnner Best Dramedy — “Belayed”, 2010 Finalist and 1st Runner Up — “Pickled Tink”

Official Finalist Las Vegas Film Festival

Belle Karper – 2012 Official Finalist Las Vegas Film Festival

Awarded Author

Fade In Awards Quarter-Finalist – still in the running!

FIRST PLACE WINNER – MOFILM Los Angeles, Next SXSW competition in Austin, then Barcelona, Spain!

A 78th Annual Writer’s Digest Award Winning Author

Finalist 2011 Top 25 Semi-Finalist Los Angeles Comedy Festival

Finalist 2011 10th FilmMakers International Screenwriting Awards (1st Round Qualifier — Still in Running)

Finalist 2011 New York City Gotham Film Festival – Final 5th Place Comedy

Top 24 Finalist Los Angeles Reel Film Festival 2011

Contest Top 20 Finalist Atlanta PeachTree Film Festival 2011

Top 24 Finalist SkyFest Film Festival 2011

— Announcing “PICKLED TINK” — Screwball Comedy Screenplay! Belle Karper,

— Announcing “MAKING UP WITH MORTELLA” — Dark Comedy about Good and Evil, the magic of MakeUp and the Beauty of the Heart.

Award-Winning Author, Screenwriter, Speaker, Humor, Comedy, Suspense, Tragedy www.BelleKarper.com Email Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog! and Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle – The Ridiculous Escapades of Belle Karper on YouTube!

All on Website Save it, Baby! Count me in!

DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING!!

I can’t tell what a week it has been.

It was incredible.

But, not in a good way.

I just got out of the hospital for a severe gastrointestinal bacteria infection.

Not the flu.

I repeat BACTERIAL.

Like little bugs, one gets in and they multiply at such a rapid rate, and your body is trying to expel it– too scary.

It was so severe, and unrelenting, that literally there was a moment when I thought it was gonna be like the Muppets man, Jim Henson. He had a gastrointestinal infection, and if he would have just gone into the hospital for antibiotics he would never died.

So, as my natural exfiltration of both ends is me was going on for hours and hours and hours, it seemed like the only thing to do was to go to the ER.

I have never been so sick in my entire life.

And, as I lied on the hospital bed, I was so grateful for technology and antibiotics. I thought to myself–

What do people do before antibiotics?

PEOPLE DIED!

That sucks, man.

Seriously sucks.

I was advised by the doctors, however, that this was something that I must’ve picked up in a PUBLIC AREA.

Meaning…

Holding onto a grocery cart…

Touching a bathroom door…

Pressing an elevator button… You name it.

YIKES!

I always thought that if I didn’t use all of antibacterial soaps, and just used regular soap, that it would build my immunity system to fight off just regular types of bacteria.

However… This was not a regular type of bacteria.

It’s called or fecal oral rabid transmission.

Let me repeat that… (If you can stomach it, literally!)

It’s called FECAL ORAL RABID TRANSMISSION.

Yuck.

SUPER YUCK!

So as I was laying in the hospital bed, after they admitted me from ER, I was rethinking my life and how I might change some of my day-to-day processes.

That is totally F-ed!

Just because somebody out in the public, I can’t seem to keep their hands and body clean, and spread their sickly germs all over the place — I had to face God.

And trust me, I did.

So near to tell you, when you see those people wearing gloves out in public and those little facemasks, I don’t think it’s going to be me. But I totally understand now, why they wear those things.

Because getting seriously ill is scary.

I don’t want my life to change too much, just because I had this extreme infection.

I don’t want to be a prisoner, trying to keep myself away from germs.

But honestly,

I’m gonna think twice about where I touch. If my elbow can hit the elevator button, that’s what my elbow’s going to do.

No biggie. Just enough to keep me well.

So after those two glorious days in the hospital, plus all the hours that I spent in ER, let this be a lesson to all of us:

– to wash our hands

– to be careful where we touch

– don’t touch your face eyes and nose more than you need to. Those are main spots where germs get in

– don’t use my makeup at the makeup counters, you don’t know who’s been there before

Plus, this is a horrible flu season… All these things may keep us healthier.

I’m still on antibiotics, and I am TRULY GRATEFUL FOR THEM.

Stay well, my friends!

Love is out there, but so are seriously freaky germs.

xoxo

Belle

Red Hot Love Or… Radar Love? Which is it?

Digital Edition only $0.99

Multi Award-Winning Author Get your copy today!

Available for ALL DIGITAL READERS!

—–

Digital Edition only $0.99

Writer’s Digest Awarded “E.B. White and Me.” Get your copy today!

Available for ALL DIGITAL READERS!

Available at Amazon!

E.B. White and Me

BUY IT TODAY!

xoxo

Belle

www.BelleKarper.com

Beverly Hills Film Festival – Official Selection Finalist

2012 Winnner Best Dramedy — “Belayed”, 2010 Finalist and 1st Runner Up — “Pickled Tink”

Official Finalist Las Vegas Film Festival

Belle Karper – 2012 Official Finalist Las Vegas Film Festival

Awarded Author

Fade In Awards Quarter-Finalist – still in the running!

FIRST PLACE WINNER – MOFILM Los Angeles, Next SXSW competition in Austin, then Barcelona, Spain!

A 78th Annual Writer’s Digest Award Winning Author

Finalist 2011 Top 25 Semi-Finalist Los Angeles Comedy Festival

Finalist 2011 10th FilmMakers International Screenwriting Awards (1st Round Qualifier — Still in Running)

Finalist 2011 New York City Gotham Film Festival – Final 5th Place Comedy

Top 24 Finalist Los Angeles Reel Film Festival 2011

Contest Top 20 Finalist Atlanta PeachTree Film Festival 2011

Top 24 Finalist SkyFest Film Festival 2011

— Announcing “PICKLED TINK” — Screwball Comedy Screenplay! Belle Karper,

— Announcing “MAKING UP WITH MORTELLA” — Dark Comedy about Good and Evil, the magic of MakeUp and the Beauty of the Heart.

Award-Winning Author, Screenwriter, Speaker, Humor, Comedy, Suspense, Tragedy www.BelleKarper.com Email Belle@BelleKarper.com WHY THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK – An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor Check out Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog! and Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle – The Ridiculous Escapades of Belle Karper on YouTube!

All on Website Save it, Baby! Count me in!

Live at the Playboy Mansion!… (pics)

So… I gotta tell you. I didn’t know what to expect.

It was supposed to be a Rock-n-Roll night with all kinds of Rock Stars Performing.

Including Steven Tyler.

Oh Yeah.

And, god knows that if I had to “do” a Rock Star… Steven Tyler would be the number one.

I mean look at him…

Steven Tyler, you fine little thing you!

Now… I know that this is the same pic that I posted yesterday…

And, I know that I told you that he was going to kiss my hand…

I know I told you that.

But, what happened was so much better!

Eeeek!

It’s true.

So there I was amongst the crush of the audience.

And, I have to tell you that I did look divine!

I decided to go 80’s Retro Bouffant Rock Glam!

Check it out —

Gotta check out the doo!

Now I am already having a wild time even before I hit the red carpet–

I am hitting up the bar…Of course. Hello? I am at a party, right? And then in walks….

Jack Russell of Great White

Bruce Kulick of KISS

Belle with Alan White from YES!

Before you know it, I am having drinks with

Billy Sheehan of Mr. Big, Steve Vai and David Lee Roth

Belle with Rudy Sarzo of Quiet Riot and Ozzy Osbourne!

Belle with Mark Hudson Producer/Songwriter for Aerosmith and Ringo Star

Belle Karper with Kip Winger of Winger (So freaking hot on stage!)

Mark Hudson and Kip Winger on Stage at the Playboy Mansion

Belle Karper with Vinny Appice of Black Sabbath and Dio

Vinny Appice (Black Sabbath and Dio) & Phil Soussan (Billy Idol and Osbourne) being interviewed by gal from “E”

Teddy Andreadis of Guns N’ Roses and Alice Cooper

You can always find him among the vertile bunnies!

Plus, let us not forget our Dear Steven…

Or on the stage…

Check out those lips. Come on, guess!

Come on! You can do it!

That’s right!

Steven Tyler, you silly kids.

Now I have to tell you a little story about this cute little Steven Tyler.

Yes, yes, of Aerosmith. That’s right. Now let me talk.

He was onstage, doing things that only Steven Tyler can do.

Yeah, just use your imagination, kay?

And, he come off stage and comes around the center of the audience and then behind the safety of a cluster of instrument panels.

Safety, huh?

Well, I just followed him right around… standing there drooling like everybody else, right?

Hey, I need to be honest here.

Yeah. We were drooling.

Men and Women alike.

Have we no shame?

Well… no.

No. We have no shame.

Now that we’ve got that over with.

All of a sudden this pathway opens up going right toward him.

It’s like it was calling me… “Belle! Belle!”

Well, that’s my f-ing-name, right?

So I followed it. I followed it so that I was right next to the bunny, Steven, and the other bunny and then ME!

Hell, I could take that bunny out, no problem.

But, I am a little better than that. Not much, but a little, okay?

So I lean over in front of bunny number one.

I say, “Hey Steven! I’m Belle Karper.”

And he turns and says four inches from my face. FOUR INCHES!

He says to me, “Hey Beautiful!” (Hey Beautiful is not too shabby, so I’ll take it!)

I say, “I think you’re just wonderful!”

“Thank you!” he says.

Then I say, “Hey, I want you to tell Phillip Phillips (p2) that–“

“Who?”

“Phillip Phillips of American Idol,”

“Oh yeah, Okay?”

“I want you to tell him that he has the Cougar Vote!”

He started laughing and he said, “I will!”

And, then I joke you not, he tickled my tummy!

TICKLED MY TUMMY!

I may never wash there for the rest of my life!

How’s that for an adventure!

Just like the fun little Flash-Fiction Rock-N-Roll Adverture in my New Short Story —

 “Is it RED HOT LOVE?  Or… RADAR LOVE?

Only $0.99 on Amazon.com for all readers.

The funfilled ride about that ellusive Song Radar Love Song by Golden Earring — The most miss-sung song in history (Say that three times fast!)

Here are some more fun pics from the Playboy Mansion of me, my friends, other entertainers and the zoo.

If you want all the pics please click here for my FACEBOOK and become a subscriber to my personal page.

You can also “LIKE” my other page and get involved on that page, too!

So BUY MY BOOK ! And be a little… OR a lot jealous that Steven Tyler called me BEAUTIFUL and that HE TICKLED MY TUMMY!

YUMMY AWESOME!

Xxoo

Belle

www.BelleKarper.com

—–

Now… go feed my fish!

They are freaking hungry, man!

—–

Digital Edition only $0.99

Red Hot Love Or… Radar Love? Which is it?

Digital Edition only $0.99

Multi Award-Winning Author Get your copy today!

Available for ALL DIGITAL READERS!

—–

Digital Edition only $0.99

Writer’s Digest Awarded “E.B. White and Me.” Get your copy today!

Available for ALL DIGITAL READERS!

Available at Amazon!

E.B. White and Me

BUY IT TODAY!

xoxo

Belle

www.BelleKarper.com

Beverly Hills Film Festival – Official Selection Finalist

Awarded Author

Fade In Awards Quarter-Finalist – still in the running!

FIRST PLACE WINNER – MOFILM Los Angeles, Next SXSW competition in Austin, then Barcelona, Spain!

A 78th Annual Writer’s Digest Award Winning Author

Finalist 2011 Top 25 Semi-Finalist Los Angeles Comedy Festival

Finalist 2011 10th FilmMakers International Screenwriting Awards (1st Round Qualifier — Still in Running)

Finalist 2011 New York City Gotham Film Festival – Final 5th Place Comedy

Finalist and 1st Runner Up Screenwriting Comp

Top 24 Finalist Los Angeles Reel Film Festival 2011

Contest Top 20 Finalist Atlanta PeachTree Film Festival 2011

Top 24 Finalist SkyFest Film Festival 2011

— Announcing  “PICKLED TINK” — Screwball Comedy Screenplay!   Belle Karper,

— Announcing  “MAKING UP WITH MORTELLA” — Dark Comedy about Good and Evil, the magic of MakeUp and the Beauty of the Heart.

Award-Winning Author, Screenwriter, Speaker, Humor, Comedy, Suspense, Tragedy www.BelleKarper.com                         Email Belle@BelleKarper.com WHY THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK – An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor Check out Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog! and Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle – The Ridiculous Escapades of Belle Karper on YouTube!

All on Website Save it, Baby! Count me in!

What I am going to see at the Playboy Mansion Tomorrow Night…! (pics)

Hey you guys!

I was invited to the Playboy Mansion tomorrow night (Saturday).

Yeah,  you read that right, Jack!

And, it’s about F-ing time!

A whole bunch of people are going to be there…

Including…

Steven Tyler, and he’s going to kiss my hand!

Of course from Aerosmith and American Idol…

Yeah THAT guy.

Hee! Hee!

Steven Tyler, you fine little thing you!

Among other things.

(Wink-Wink!)

Plus, this is what I think I am going to see first…

The One and Only Playboy Mansion!

And, then I think I am going to see a whole lot of this…

The Naughty-Naughties (See me in the background? I’m the one with the perfect A$$!)

(Wink-Wink!)

Right.

😉

And Rock n Roll Rules!!

Xxoo

Belle

www.BelleKarper.com

—–

Now… go feed my fish!

They are freaking hungry, man!

—–

Digital Edition only $0.99

Red Hot Love Or… Radar Love? Which is it?

Digital Edition only $0.99

Multi Award-Winning Author Get your copy today!

Available for ALL DIGITAL READERS!

—–

Digital Edition only $0.99

Writer’s Digest Awarded “E.B. White and Me.” Get your copy today!

Available for ALL DIGITAL READERS!

Available at Amazon!

E.B. White and Me

BUY IT TODAY!

xoxo

Belle

www.BelleKarper.com

Beverly Hills Film Festival – Official Selection Finalist

Awarded Author

Fade In Awards Quarter-Finalist – still in the running!

FIRST PLACE WINNER – MOFILM Los Angeles, Next SXSW competition in Austin, then Barcelona, Spain!

A 78th Annual Writer’s Digest Award Winning Author

Finalist 2011 Top 25 Semi-Finalist Los Angeles Comedy Festival

Finalist 2011 10th FilmMakers International Screenwriting Awards (1st Round Qualifier — Still in Running)

Finalist 2011 New York City Gotham Film Festival – Final 5th Place Comedy

Finalist and 1st Runner Up Screenwriting Comp

Top 24 Finalist Los Angeles Reel Film Festival 2011

Contest Top 20 Finalist Atlanta PeachTree Film Festival 2011

Top 24 Finalist SkyFest Film Festival 2011

— Announcing  “PICKLED TINK” — Screwball Comedy Screenplay!   Belle Karper,

— Announcing  “MAKING UP WITH MORTELLA” — Dark Comedy about Good and Evil, the magic of MakeUp and the Beauty of the Heart.

Award-Winning Author, Screenwriter, Speaker, Humor, Comedy, Suspense, Tragedy www.BelleKarper.com                         Email Belle@BelleKarper.com WHY THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK – An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor Check out Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog! and Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle – The Ridiculous Escapades of Belle Karper on YouTube!

All on Website Save it, Baby! Count me in!

Red Hot Love or Radar Love? Which is it?

Have you ever wondered what the lyrics of songs actually were?

Did you ever sing the wrong lyrics?

At the top of your lungs?!

This is a Fab Short Story about the most famous mis-sung song in history!

Red Hot Love!

I mean…

Radar Love…

I mean…

Oh crap, which is it?

Dang that Golden Earring!

I don’t care… just read it!

And, if you have an extra moment…

Write a good review, because I know you’re going to love it!

Red Hot Love Or... Radar Love? Which is it?

oxo

Belle

www.BelleKarper.com

—–

Now… go feed my fish!

They are freaking hungry, man!

—–

Digital Edition only $0.99

Red Hot Love Or... Radar Love? Which is it?

Digital Edition only $0.99

Multi Award-Winning Author Get your copy today!

Available for ALL DIGITAL READERS!

—–

Digital Edition only $0.99

Writer’s Digest Awarded “E.B. White and Me.” Get your copy today!

Available for ALL DIGITAL READERS!

Available at Amazon!

E.B. White and Me

BUY IT TODAY!

xoxo

Belle

www.BelleKarper.com

Beverly Hills Film Festival – Official Selection Finalist

Awarded Author

Fade In Awards Quarter-Finalist – still in the running!

FIRST PLACE WINNER – MOFILM Los Angeles, Next SXSW competition in Austin, then Barcelona, Spain!

A 78th Annual Writer’s Digest Award Winning Author

Finalist 2011 Top 25 Semi-Finalist Los Angeles Comedy Festival

Finalist 2011 10th FilmMakers International Screenwriting Awards (1st Round Qualifier — Still in Running)

Finalist 2011 New York City Gotham Film Festival – Final 5th Place Comedy

Finalist and 1st Runner Up Screenwriting Comp

Top 24 Finalist Los Angeles Reel Film Festival 2011

Contest Top 20 Finalist Atlanta PeachTree Film Festival 2011

Top 24 Finalist SkyFest Film Festival 2011

— Announcing  “PICKLED TINK” — Screwball Comedy Screenplay!   Belle Karper,

— Announcing  “MAKING UP WITH MORTELLA” — Dark Comedy about Good and Evil, the magic of MakeUp and the Beauty of the Heart.

Award-Winning Author, Screenwriter, Speaker, Humor, Comedy, Suspense, Tragedy www.BelleKarper.com                         Email Belle@BelleKarper.com WHY THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK – An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor Check out Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog! and Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle – The Ridiculous Escapades of Belle Karper on YouTube!

All on Website Save it, Baby! Count me in!

Partied Last Night, Y’all…!

Partied with some old

(well, not so old,

just long-standing,

well some of them are old,

some of them are old-er,

and actually some of them are short,

but nothing is wrong with short,

and some of them are tall,

but I love them all).

Yes... and then there were more!

To make a long story short (too late)

We had a good time.

SWEET!

😉

Belle

www.BelleKarper.com

—–

Now… go feed my fish!

They are freaking hungry, man!

—–

Digital Edition only $0.99

Red Hot Love Or… Radar Love? Which is it?

Digital Edition only $0.99

Multi Award-Winning Author Get your copy today!

Available for ALL DIGITAL READERS!

—–

Digital Edition only $0.99

Writer’s Digest Awarded “E.B. White and Me.” Get your copy today!

Available for ALL DIGITAL READERS!

Available at Amazon!

E.B. White and Me

BUY IT TODAY!

xoxo

Belle

www.BelleKarper.com

Beverly Hills Film Festival – Official Selection Finalist

Awarded Author

Fade In Awards Quarter-Finalist – still in the running!

FIRST PLACE WINNER – MOFILM Los Angeles, Next SXSW competition in Austin, then Barcelona, Spain!

A 78th Annual Writer’s Digest Award Winning Author

Finalist 2011 Top 25 Semi-Finalist Los Angeles Comedy Festival

Finalist 2011 10th FilmMakers International Screenwriting Awards (1st Round Qualifier — Still in Running)

Finalist 2011 New York City Gotham Film Festival – Final 5th Place Comedy

Finalist and 1st Runner Up Screenwriting Comp

Top 24 Finalist Los Angeles Reel Film Festival 2011

Contest Top 20 Finalist Atlanta PeachTree Film Festival 2011

Top 24 Finalist SkyFest Film Festival 2011

— Announcing  “PICKLED TINK” — Screwball Comedy Screenplay!   Belle Karper,

— Announcing  “MAKING UP WITH MORTELLA” — Dark Comedy about Good and Evil, the magic of MakeUp and the Beauty of the Heart.

Award-Winning Author, Screenwriter, Speaker, Humor, Comedy, Suspense, Tragedy www.BelleKarper.com                         Email Belle@BelleKarper.com WHY THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK – An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor Check out Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog! and Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle – The Ridiculous Escapades of Belle Karper on YouTube!

All on Website Save it, Baby! Count me in!

Today’s the 21st, eh?

Okay…today’s the 21st…is the ground supposed to rumble? The windows vibrate? One-eyed zombies gonna steal my coffee?

🙂

xoxo

Belle

SAVE IT BABY! COUNT ME IN!

xoxo

Belle

A 78th Annual Writer’s Digest Award Winning Author 

Finalist and 1st Runner-Up in Broad Humor Film Festival Screenwriting Contest — Announcing “PICKLED TINK” — Screwball Comedy Screenplay!   Belle Karper, Award-Winning Author, Screenwriter, Speaker, Humor, Comedy, Suspense, Tragedy www.BelleKarper.com                         Email Belle@BelleKarper.com
WHY THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK – An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor
Check out Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog!
and Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle – The Ridiculous Escapades of Belle Karper on YouTube!

All on Website
Save it, Baby! Count me in!

YOU make plans, but LIFE has other arrangements…

(Save it, Baby! Count me in!)

So, it goes like this . . .

This last week has been another lesson in… “YOU make plans, but unknown to you, LIFE has already made other arrangements.”

Last Wednesday, right before I was to leave for a four-day conference, I and my husband took my son out for frozen yogurt. Just a little treat, a little fun, before I was to leave for four days.

So as I am standing there, I noticed something different about my son, and I mention it to him. I joke with him, that maybe he is goofing around with me, and that he should cut it out.

He swears to me that he is just eating his frozen yogurt.

So I look at him, and like I said, he seemed different to me.

We go back to the house, laughing and giggling. I disregarded the prior incident as just being “nothing.”

Then I see the problem again, with my son.  “Honey, cut it out,” I say to him.

“Mom, I’m not doing anything.”

I grab him. I look at him. And I said, “Okay, we are all going to the hospital.”

That is when this difficult journey began… and also the tears.

I would like to tell you what’s going on with my son, but I know that he wants me to keep his privacy.

I’m sure that you understand.

However, we spent the entire Wednesday night into the early hours of the morning in the emergency room.

Of course, I could not go to my four-day conference. My place was with my son.

From that moment on, every single day since last Wednesday, we have spent in hospital rooms, doctors offices, labs, specialists, and we even went to a world-famous Institute that specializes with my son’s current issue.

He has had so many tests now that he is bruised from poking, and probably now glows in the dark from all of the x-rays and x-ray type machines.

Still, we have no definitive answers.

I have cried many tears over this.

I want to help him.

I want to save him.

I want this to be over.

But, like I said, I am waiting to find out what LIFE has in store for us.

I am hopeful.

Please send us your good thoughts.

P.S. —  BTW, the guy that runs/owns the 4-day conference is trying to not let me have a refund even though they offer a 100% money back guarantee… I would love to tell you who this is, but I am waiting for him to do the right thing. He even talks about how his turning point in his life was when his wife got cancer… Right… no compassion.

Curious, isn’t it?

Be well,

Belle

A 78th Annual Writer’s Digest Award Winning Author  

S. Belle Karper, Award-Winning Author, Screenwriter, Speaker, Humor, Comedy, Suspense, Tragedy www.BelleKarper.com
WHY THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK – An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor
Check out S. Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog!
and Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle – The Ridiculous Escapades of Belle Karper on YouTube!

All on Website
Save it, Baby! Count me in!

Farmville… It’s Time We Spoke Out! (Part 1)

 (Save it, Baby! Count me in!)

So, it goes like this . . .

Okay. First, we need to set a few ground rules here:

1.     I was never going to play Farmville.

I think that it is important to repeat that first assumption here, so I’m to give it a subheading, and going to call it 1A.

1.A. I was NEVER going to play Farmville.

I mean it.

Next…

2.    I don’t know how I’m supposed to deny anybody wanting to give me “Free gifts.”

That’s just rude.

My Momma raised me better than that.

Well… she did…

I mean, if somebody wants to give me a free gift, who am I to deny them the intrinsic beauty of this sharing of two souls when one bestows a gift to me, and then I to them…

Of course, I am simply going to lovingly accept it.

“Thank you, Dahhhling, for the fabulous Banana Tree. It does so come in handy when my husband is away…”    😉

Yes… I will love and adore… cherish, even… every gift.

Even if it’s a lowly apple, cherry or plum tree (lowly as in Farmville standards, of course).

No offense, Dahhhhlings!

By the by… neighbors and friends… keep those Olive and Pomegranate trees coming, ya hear!

Sorry, I had to put in a plug for which free gifts I prefer now.

How sad is that?

Well, so the Lord Almighty, and my Farmville neighbors all know that Belle (that’s me) is a loving and generous receiver of all gifts great and small, and likewise I am a loving and generous gifter.

Shut-up… I am, too.

Everyday, I make a list of the people that give me the Farmville gifts just to make sure that I reciprocate and don’t accidentally skip anybody.

I need a fricking virtual assistant to keep up with the stress of my Farmville.

Yeesh.

Next…

3.    I have never played an electronic game beyond “Guitar Hero.”

And for the record, I play a mean freaking guitar that has buttons on it, okay? 

Don’t try to convert me to the “real” guitar. 

Not going to happen. No way. No how.

I would never cut my acrylic nails, and besides I think those guys are just showing off. The guys playing with the wire stringy “old-fashioned” guitars. They might think that they are more talented than we…

The true heroes of the guitar… the guitars with color-associated buttons on them.

But, we know better… don’t we?

Yeah… guitars with wires on them are old news.

Get with the program, man!

Buttons are “in.”

Just give me a guitar with buttons on it any day… and a couple of double AA batteries, and a Wii that’s plugged in… and I play a mean three-fingered colored-coded guitar.

Oooh, Baby!

Yeah, I know it’s got more than three buttons on it… give me a break.

I can count.

It’s kind of like painting by numbers… but for the guitar… with three to five colors… of buttons.

But, I play on the EASY level — which means that I only play with three buttons… and that since I am a woman, it further means that I am entitled to believe that the EASY level means “Easy Listening.”

And, nothing else.

Got it?

Don’t try to correct me.

We’d all hate for you to get on the “bad list” today.

So, let’s just understand here… just so that we are all on the same page and everything… I play on the “Easy Listening” level with three fingers, three buttons, and three brain cells.

Oh, yeah… And, I only play three songs… But, I am damn good at those three songs.

Right.

I digress.

So, I am trying to apologize in advance that my field of play in the electronic alter-universe is limited, to say the least… and even with that analysis, I am being generous… even to myself.

Next…

4.     I’ve never liked any of those electronic games.

My son plays them with unbelievable expertise.

Not that I’m thrilled with that knowledge, mind you.  

I know this because if he had his druthers, he would be playing his Electronic Games every hour of every moment of every day.

Without pause. Without food. Without oxygen.

Heck, let’s face it — the whole world could be caving in and he would still be shooting out power blazers on a level 39 “Alien Cucumbers Battle Mario’s Speed Racer and Godzilla Fireballs.”

His mad pounding of the keys… well, I just don’t understand the hopping and jumping around and disappearing exploding fire-gonzos and stuff like that.

Big deal, right?

So what, that he hasn’t eaten… done his homework… or blinked his eyes in four hours…

Mere details.

He can’t be bothered.

So, no… I was never really good with the game thing.

But…

Then all my peeps and buds on Facebook started sending me all these gifty things for Farmville…

Who knew?

A Pig here.

A Goat.

Two people even sent me some elephants.

Elephants?

Yeah… like those belong on a farm.

Right.

Guess what they make?

Circus Peanuts.

They make circus peanuts.

Hmmm…

I hate to break it to you… but those are awfully large “circus peanuts” that come out of a cute little elephant, if you know what I mean.

And… I wouldn’t recommend eating any of those so-called peanuts, okay?

Eeeeeeuuuw.

It’s just wrong.

Well… I had 82 (eighty-two) gifts sitting on my Home Page of Facebook.

Go figure.

82.

That’s quite a bit, right?

But… remember, I was NEVER going to play Farmville.

I have got no time.

Right.

My son nearly died when I told him that I had DELETED THEM ALL.

Yes, I deleted all 82 gifts.

I mean, what hell am I going to do with a pig that finds truffles, right?

I don’t even freaking like truffles.

Gag.

So, needless the say, “am-scray on the ig-pay.”

Until… my son showed me the Farmville light…

I never deleted any gifts again.

Eeeeek!

TO BE CONTINUED!!!            

TO CONTINUE THE STORY ******* CLICK HERE *******

Be well,

Belle

  78th Annual Writer’s Digest Award Winner

S. Belle Karper, Author, Speaker www.BelleKarper.com
THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK – An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor
Check out S. Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog!
and Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle – all on Website
Save it, Baby! Count me in!

Who Won?

 (Save it, Baby! Count me in!)

So, it goes like this . . .

 

Well, let’s just suffice it to say that I had to spray a lot of perfume on this morning. There was no time to shower, much less mascara my eyelashes. This game was just too dang early…

 I’m not happy to admit this, and so I am not formally admitting this… but my husband informs me that I may not be a “morning person.”

Huh?

What does he know?

He is off riding the mountainsides in Utah right now.

He may or may not be right. I don’t have the freaking patience to find out at this early hour, but I did have a hard time waking up this morning.

Go figure.

My only incentives being:

A. To see my son play

B. To see my son play well

C. To see my son play well against “dickhead.”

Now, I am not one to hold any grudges.

Like, I have almost forgiven that little bitch in high school… almost.

I don’t use the voodoo doll on her anymore… well, only semi-annually.

Heck, I have other things to do than live in the past.

And, that neighbor that I used to have living near me, emphasis on used to (and no, nothing mysterious happened to her… much to my regret. She just moved… how common, right?)

Let’s just say that when the book came out, The Devil Wears Prada, I thought it was about my neighbor.

Bee-atch, with a small ass and rock-hard boobs.

Yikes. I remember the first time she hugged me. I was bruised for a week from her plastic surgery stone tits.

Well, I am still in therapy over all of that neighborhood nonsense stuff. 

No one here misses her dropping her garbage into other people’s cans.

Yeah baby, you can keep your dirty diapers to yourself.

Schtinky.

My dog misses them though. Evidently, there is something attractive with the scent of toddler diarrhea rolled in a Pampers disposables…

Eeeeeeuuuuw.

So, like I said I’m not one to keep grudges. So the fact that we are facing up dickhead and his team this morning is double-edged.

First off, I had to drive all the way back to my house because I forgot my chair.

I knew this was not going to be a good sign.

My sweet little sugar-coated ass would melt on the beauty of the morning dew if I were to sit on the ground. We can’t be having any of that wet dew sinking into my “down there” now can we?

Right.

So, I drove back to get my chair.

Gosh.

Secondly, I can’t help it that I express myself verbally.

Calling a kid dickhead seemed and still seems appropriate, and if the conditions arise again… and I feel the need to express myself in these and other matters, then I am bound by the “Mother Bear” Codes of Conduct to protect my little cub.

Regardless.

And… I am going to disregard the coaches messages left on my cell phone informing me of various muzzle supply shops.

A muzzle?

For who?

Dickhead?

That might be a little extreme for a 15-year-old, but I picked one up for him just in case.

I do understand the mouths of these babes, because I live with two teenagers and I could see how it could come in handy.

Like… everyday.

So, I bought him an extra-large.

Because he has an extra-large dickhead.

Du-u-uh.

I learned that from my kids… that “duh” thing.

Doesn’t it just make you feel good all over?

….

Well, right now… we are knee-deep in the second half and the score is one-to-one.

The kids are dripping with sweated competitiveness. Licking their teenaged chops for this victory that is due them. The tension hovers over the parents around me.

And me… well, I am in a catatonic stare… they are all navy colored enemies against our white shirted boys, and now those 15-year-old little penile wannabes threaten our good Saturday.

They have kicked two of our guys in the balls.

Hard.

One of their players received a red card.

And if that is not enough, they have tackled my son to the point where he was lying on the ground for literally two minutes.

Just lying there.

Unmoving.

And, I was not allowed to go on the field.

Mama bear does not like this part.

And, I’m going to tell you that two minutes is a very long time when your son is in pain, on the ground and not moving.

….

I would like to say that we won the game, but we did not.

We played a hard fight, but a clean one.

I left my comments until after the three tweets of the whistles were heard, signaling the end of the game.

Then I let a few “explicatives” fly…

A tough loss for all…

For us…

For other dickheads across the world…

And… for the world…

I don’t think that I am over exaggerating here, when I say that this IS a tough loss for the entire world…

Tragic.

And then of course, we all went to CoCo’s for breakfast.

🙂

Hug, hug, kiss, kiss, Y’all — Even you with hard boobies — Still love ya! xoxo

 

The is the final to: 

If you don’t know who dickhead is … ***** Then Click Here *****  

A must read story.

A follow-up story with pictures is ***** Here*****

Be well,

Belle

S. Belle Karper, Author, Speaker www.BelleKarper.com
THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK – An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor
Check out S. Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog!
and Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle – all on Website
Save it, Baby! Count me in!