Archive | July 2009

Amish Town

So here we are in Amish country. My daughter says, “let me know when we get to ‘Amish Town.'”

“Amish Town?”

“Yeah, let me know when we get to Amish Town,” she says. “I want to see them. They’re so cute.”

She cranes her neck from the back seat of the car like we’re driving to a zoo, and they’ll be on exhibit.

Right.

“Honey, they live just like everybody else.” I take a deep breath. “They just don’t have electricity. They live simply, but they are not different or segregated.”

“They don’t have a little town, just for them?”

“No.”

She is disappointed.

Like they are cute little Amish dolls that might be on display for her arrival.

Buggies and horses. Yes. So cute.

It all DOES sound very charming, doesn’t it? I can see why she might have thought that.

We drive by one buggy this very second.

I can see them, a little family of four. Mommy, Daddy, Sister, Brother. Amish family USA. Clomp, Clomp. The little ones wave, and the adults grimace as our camera flashes in their direction.

The horse and buggy tromps by. No accelerator. Just life at a horse’s pace.

Doesn’t that sound dreamy to our hurried world?

I envy their simplicity. Their lack of distraction. The beauty of their forced interaction because there is nothing else to do but “relationship-ize.”

Their calm is attractive to me.

. . . mmmmmm . . . aaaaah . . . calm . . .

But, then I see how they dress.

Hmmm.

A lifetime time of printed floral broadcloth. Hmmm. I don’t think I can really consider life’s dressage as multi-shades of light blue plaid, either.

However, my fashion history causes me to question if “I” was born into an Amish family. I remember my first several years of life in unforunately durable brown dresses. Emphasis on drab. Simplicity to the extreme. Only one seam on each side of me. And, an occasional bow. As hard as I tried, once something happened to the offending dress, all hope was trashed when another one of equal sturdiness appeared the next day laid out on my bed. Only dresses. No shorts, no pants. Three dresses. One to wear, one for the wash, and one uninhabitable.

I don’t remember a tight-haired headress binding my head, so I don’t think I was actually an Amish. Maybe we were Amish impersonators, or it probably must have been just the tight-fisted grab of my mom’s hand from the enduring remnants of the cursed “blue-light special.”

Yeah, I guess I don’t have the Amish excuse of perpetual preteen fashion felonies. Instead of direct Amish lineage defined, I am just a Baskin-Robbins 31-Flavah. Flavah-flavah-woo-woo!

So, back to the Amish. Would I consider switching teams for their simplicity sake?

Hmmm.

I don’t think so.

My hair. Can’t be doing that thing to my hair. That bonnet thing.

And, the shoes . . . if they wear shoes at all . . . Well, THOSE shoes aren’t going to be on the cover of Harper’s Bazaar, now are they?

Hello-o? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

Life is full of trade off’s.

I guess I’ll keep my little existence, and hope for the occasional simplicity that the Amish have come to completely understand.

They can also have their driving a mule in the field. I’ll keep my 350Z. Plowing corn, or tobacco, or whatever it is they plow. And, they can also have that clean up of all that daily horse crap.

Yeah, like I would choose THAT.

Hey . . . wait . . . maybe I am Amish. I have my daily share of bull shit.

Hmmm.

I better check my lineage.

I don’t know that the Amish would have me, though . . .

I dye my hair, I don’t wear flats, and we each might have a different interpretation of thongs.

Better let sleeping dogs lie.

Shhhh . . . it will be our secret.

Be well,

Belle

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S. Belle Karper, Author, Speaker www.BelleKarper.com
THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK – An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor
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S. Belle Karper

I have to tell you . . .

I have to tell you that I have about a million stories of my journey east and to the midwest. My days are so full that these crazy wack-a-doodle adventures will have to wait . . . at least another day.

Here’s the tip of the day, don’t kiss too many assholes or you’ll get a lot of crap in your face.

I don’t know, just sounds logical to me . . .

😉

Be well,

Belle

So, y’all come back, now. Ya’ hear?

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S. Belle Karper, Author, Speaker www.BelleKarper.com
THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK – An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor
Check out S. Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog!
Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle – all on Website

S. Belle Karper

Beach Towel . . . Life is Good

A beach towel in vibrant colors — bright with the hope of a sunny day.

Life is good.

Be well,

Belle

So, y’all come back, now. Ya’ hear?

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S. Belle Karper, Author, Speaker www.BelleKarper.com
THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK – An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor
Check out S. Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog!
Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle – all on Website

S. Belle Karper

Mike and Ike’s

As many as 44 tons of Mike and Ike candies are made each day.

Holy crap, that’s a lot of candy.

Don’t forget your half yearly dental program. Yikes.

Be well,

Belle

Y’all come back now, y’hear?

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S. Belle Karper, Author, Speaker www.BelleKarper.com
THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK – An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor
Check out S. Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog!
Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle – all on Website

S. Belle Karper

Walter Cronkite . . . Daily Random Fact

Well, my friends . . . yesterday Walter Cronkite died.

I remember him every night when I was growing up. He shared dinner with my family and I.

While we argued over the size of our roast beef portions and the number of deviled eggs, he patiently delivered the news to our family of four.

Black and white television scenes followed up his newscast reportings. Some scary, some amusing. Always reliable, like a frank old friend . . . he would always tell us the good and the bad of it.

You will be missed old friend, my 2 dimensional teacher of my youth.

“And, that’s the way it is . . .” July 17, 2009

Be well,

Belle

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S. Belle Karper, Author, Speaker www.BelleKarper.com
THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK – An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor
Check out S. Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog!
Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle – all on Website

S. Belle Karper

A Lot Going On in the Mirror . . .

I was waiting in the house . . . for my son . . . waiting . . .

“Why are you late?”

“I was looking in the mirror,” he said.

“What?”

“Looking in the mirror.”

“Right.”

“Right, yeah, uh-huh. Just look at me, mom . . . I’ve got a lot happening here.”

“Yeah?”

“See, yeah, right?” he nods assumptively, as if I should already know this.

I swear the way kids talk these days.

So, he walks away from me.  And, I am still standing there . . . waiting . . .

“What are you doing?” I ask him.

“I’m looking in this mirror here,” and he points to the mirror in the entry. He has now gone from the upstairs mirror in his bathroom, now to the downstairs mirror next to me.

But, it’s really as if I am not there at all.

“Yeah, so?”

“Yeah, mom, looking in the mirror here. Checking me out.” he says . . . “This may take a while . . . ”

He smiles into mirror. Does a little smirky thing that is supposed to entice another 14-year old girl to join his harem. He tosses his head, and his hair lands in the perfect skater-boy swish to the side of his face. He does a chin nod, to confirm his studliness. He is entranced by his own boyish “Man”liness. So bewitched, that he is not moving.

“Uh . . . Okay, honey. Well . . . uh . . . I ‘m going to go into the other room and watch TV,” and I begin to walk down the hall. “Are you going to come with me?”

“Is there a mirror in there?”

“Uh . . . yeah.”

He starts to follow me. Still in his 14-year old year old innocence, in 20-feet he will know that I lied. Poor thing. I guess he’ll have to watch the TV instead.

Aaaaaah. To be 14 again.

I guess he’s got a lot going on there . . .

Gotcha! He’s such a funny kid.

Unfortunately, he barely looks in the mirror. That, and the shower, another aversion of the 14-year old male soul.

Be well,

Belle

So, y’all come back, now. Ya’ hear?

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S. Belle Karper, Author, Speaker www.BelleKarper.com
THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK – An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor
Check out S. Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog!
Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle – all on Website

S. Belle Karper

Sugar-Momma . . . You Better Cooperate

I ate 2 of those pop-n-fresh cinnamon spirals with icing.

I’m amped out on sugar, and I’ve got my period.

Just hand me the chocalate.

Now.

Then we won’t need to call the paramedics.

—–

Be well,

Belle

So, y’all come back, now. Ya’ hear?

Bookmark and Share

S. Belle Karper, Author, Speaker www.BelleKarper.com
THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK – An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor
Check out S. Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog!
Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle – all on Website

S. Belle Karper