Tag Archive | BLACK

Live at the Playboy Mansion!… (pics)

So… I gotta tell you. I didn’t know what to expect.

It was supposed to be a Rock-n-Roll night with all kinds of Rock Stars Performing.

Including Steven Tyler.

Oh Yeah.

And, god knows that if I had to “do” a Rock Star… Steven Tyler would be the number one.

I mean look at him…

Steven Tyler, you fine little thing you!

Steven Tyler, you fine little thing you!

Now… I know that this is the same pic that I posted yesterday…

And, I know that I told you that he was going to kiss my hand…

I know I told you that.

But, what happened was so much better!

Eeeek!

It’s true.

So there I was amongst the crush of the audience.

And, I have to tell you that I did look divine!

I decided to go 80’s Retro Bouffant Rock Glam!

Check it out –

Rock Glam Baby in Jeffrey Campbells, yo!

Gotta check out the doo!

Gotta check out the doo!

Now I am already having a wild time even before I hit the red carpet–Belle Karper on the Red Carpet!

I am hitting up the bar…Of course. Hello? I am at a party, right? And then in walks….

Jack Russell of Great White

Jack Russell of Great White

Bruce Kulick of KISS

Bruce Kulick of KISS

Belle with Alan White from YES!

Belle with Alan White from YES!

Before you know it, I am having drinks with

Billy Sheehan of Mr. Big, Steve Vai and David Lee Roth

Billy Sheehan of Mr. Big, Steve Vai and David Lee Roth

Belle with Rudy Sarzo of Quiet Riot and Ozzy Osbourne!

Belle with Rudy Sarzo of Quiet Riot and Ozzy Osbourne!

Belle with Mark Hudson Producer/Songwriter for Aerosmith and Ringo Star

Belle with Mark Hudson Producer/Songwriter for Aerosmith and Ringo Star

Belle Karper with Kip Winger of Winger (So freaking hot on stage!)

Belle Karper with Kip Winger of Winger (So freaking hot on stage!)

Mark Hudson & Kip Winger on Stage at the Playboy Mansion

Mark Hudson and Kip Winger on Stage at the Playboy Mansion

Belle Karper with Vinny Appice of Black Sabbath and Dio

Belle Karper with Vinny Appice of Black Sabbath and Dio

Vinny Appice (Black Sabbath and Dio) & Phil Soussan (Billy Idol and Osbourne) being interviewed by gal from "E"

Vinny Appice (Black Sabbath and Dio) & Phil Soussan (Billy Idol and Osbourne) being interviewed by gal from “E”

Teddy Andreadis of Guns N' Roses and Alice Cooper

Teddy Andreadis of Guns N’ Roses and Alice Cooper

You can always find him among the vertile bunnies!

You can always find him among the vertile bunnies!

Plus, let us not forget our Dear Steven…

Or on the stage...

Or on the stage…

Check out those lips. Come on, guess!

Check out those lips. Come on, guess!

Come on! You can do it!

Come on! You can do it!

That’s right!

Steven Tyler, you silly kids.

Now I have to tell you a little story about this cute little Steven Tyler.

Yes, yes, of Aerosmith. That’s right. Now let me talk.

He was onstage, doing things that only Steven Tyler can do.

Yeah, just use your imagination, kay?

And, he come off stage and comes around the center of the audience and then behind the safety of a cluster of instrument panels.

Safety, huh?

Well, I just followed him right around… standing there drooling like everybody else, right?

Hey, I need to be honest here.

Yeah. We were drooling.

Men and Women alike.

Have we no shame?

Well… no.

No. We have no shame.

Now that we’ve got that over with.

All of a sudden this pathway opens up going right toward him.

It’s like it was calling me… “Belle! Belle!”

Well, that’s my f-ing-name, right?

So I followed it. I followed it so that I was right next to the bunny, Steven, and the other bunny and then ME!

Hell, I could take that bunny out, no problem.

But, I am a little better than that. Not much, but a little, okay?

So I lean over in front of bunny number one.

I say, “Hey Steven! I’m Belle Karper.”

And he turns and says four inches from my face. FOUR INCHES!

He says to me, “Hey Beautiful!” (Hey Beautiful is not too shabby, so I’ll take it!)

I say, “I think you’re just wonderful!”

“Thank you!” he says.

Then I say, “Hey, I want you to tell Phillip Phillips (p2) that–“

“Who?”

“Phillip Phillips of American Idol,”

“Oh yeah, Okay?”

“I want you to tell him that he has the Cougar Vote!”

He started laughing and he said, “I will!”

And, then I joke you not, he tickled my tummy!

TICKLED MY TUMMY!

I may never wash there for the rest of my life!

How’s that for an adventure!

Just like the fun little Flash-Fiction Rock-N-Roll Adverture in my New Short Story –

 “Is it RED HOT LOVE?  Or… RADAR LOVE?

Only $0.99 on Amazon.com for all readers.

The funfilled ride about that ellusive Song Radar Love Song by Golden Earring — The most miss-sung song in history (Say that three times fast!)

Here are some more fun pics from the Playboy Mansion of me, my friends, other entertainers and the zoo.

If you want all the pics please click here for my FACEBOOK and become a subscriber to my personal page.

You can also “LIKE” my other page and get involved on that page, too!

So BUY MY BOOK ! And be a little… OR a lot jealous that Steven Tyler called me BEAUTIFUL and that HE TICKLED MY TUMMY!

YUMMY AWESOME!

Xxoo

Belle

www.BelleKarper.com

—–

Now… go feed my fish!

They are freaking hungry, man!

—–

Digital Edition only $0.99

Red Hot Love    Or... Radar Love? Which is it?

Red Hot Love Or… Radar Love? Which is it?

Digital Edition only $0.99

Multi Award-Winning Author Get your copy today!

Available for ALL DIGITAL READERS!

—–

Digital Edition only $0.99

Writer’s Digest Awarded “E.B. White and Me.” Get your copy today!

Available for ALL DIGITAL READERS!

Available at Amazon!

E.B. White and Me
E.B. White and Me
BUY IT TODAY!

xoxo

Belle

www.BelleKarper.com

Beverly Hills Film Festival - Official Selection FinalistBeverly Hills Film Festival – Official Selection Finalist

Writer's Digest Awarded AurthorAwarded Author

Fade In Awards

Fade In Awards Quarter-Finalist – still in the running!

FIRST PLACE WINNER – MOFILM Los Angeles, Next SXSW competition in Austin, then Barcelona, Spain!

Writer's Digest Award Winner - S. Belle Karper A 78th Annual Writer’s Digest Award Winning Author

Finalist 2011 Top 25 Semi-Finalist Los Angeles Comedy Festival

Finalist 2011 10th FilmMakers International Screenwriting Awards (1st Round Qualifier — Still in Running)

Finalist 2011 New York City Gotham Film Festival – Final 5th Place Comedy

Finalist and 1st Runner Up Screenwriting Comp

Top 24 Finalist Los Angeles Reel Film Festival 2011

Contest Top 20 Finalist Atlanta PeachTree Film Festival 2011

Top 24 Finalist SkyFest Film Festival 2011

— Announcing  “PICKLED TINK” — Screwball Comedy Screenplay!   Belle Karper,

— Announcing  “MAKING UP WITH MORTELLA” — Dark Comedy about Good and Evil, the magic of MakeUp and the Beauty of the Heart.

Award-Winning Author, Screenwriter, Speaker, Humor, Comedy, Suspense, Tragedy www.BelleKarper.com                         Email Belle@BelleKarper.com WHY THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK - An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor Check out Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog! and Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle - The Ridiculous Escapades of Belle Karper on YouTube!

All on Website Save it, Baby! Count me in! Add to Technorati Favorites BelleKarper-AuthorSpeaker7.jpg picture by bellekarper

Dick Clark… Dies at 82.

It’s amazing to think that Dick Clark  actually died.

The ageless, flawless man.

Who could have thought that he was actually mortal?

Dick Clark... ever ageless

Dick Clark... ever ageless

He started at American Bandstand.

American Bandstand.

You can google that show if you need to, or just click here: American Bandstand

What an incredible journey his life has had.

So many people learnerd how to dance because of that show.

They learned how to rock ‘n roll.

But, The most miraculous thing about Dick Clark… was that he never aged.

Hmmm…

What a thought.

I could buy into that.

I could be digging that.

Oh, yeah.

So, that ageless thing has done him well…

And the fact that he wasa brilliant guy in front of the behind the cameras.

Not too shabby.

$100 Million at 82, means you’re doing something right.

I heard he was a great guy.

I just need to know the name of his plastic surgeon… or at least his make-up lady.

;-)

Rest in Peace.

Another legend now in the outfield…

xoxo

Belle

www.BelleKarper.com

—–

Now… go feed my fish!

They are freaking hungry, man!

—–

Digital Edition only $0.99

Red Hot Love    Or... Radar Love? Which is it?

Red Hot Love Or… Radar Love? Which is it?

Digital Edition only $0.99

Multi Award-Winning Author Get your copy today!

Available for ALL DIGITAL READERS!

—–

Digital Edition only $0.99

Writer’s Digest Awarded “E.B. White and Me.” Get your copy today!

Available for ALL DIGITAL READERS!

Available at Amazon!

E.B. White and Me
E.B. White and Me
BUY IT TODAY!

xoxo

Belle

www.BelleKarper.com

Beverly Hills Film Festival - Official Selection FinalistBeverly Hills Film Festival – Official Selection Finalist

Writer's Digest Awarded AurthorAwarded Author

Fade In Awards

Fade In Awards Quarter-Finalist – still in the running!

FIRST PLACE WINNER – MOFILM Los Angeles, Next SXSW competition in Austin, then Barcelona, Spain!

Writer's Digest Award Winner - S. Belle Karper A 78th Annual Writer’s Digest Award Winning Author

Finalist 2011 Top 25 Semi-Finalist Los Angeles Comedy Festival

Finalist 2011 10th FilmMakers International Screenwriting Awards (1st Round Qualifier — Still in Running)

Finalist 2011 New York City Gotham Film Festival – Final 5th Place Comedy

Finalist and 1st Runner Up Screenwriting Comp

Top 24 Finalist Los Angeles Reel Film Festival 2011

Contest Top 20 Finalist Atlanta PeachTree Film Festival 2011

Top 24 Finalist SkyFest Film Festival 2011

— Announcing  “PICKLED TINK” — Screwball Comedy Screenplay!   Belle Karper,

— Announcing  “MAKING UP WITH MORTELLA” — Dark Comedy about Good and Evil, the magic of MakeUp and the Beauty of the Heart.

Award-Winning Author, Screenwriter, Speaker, Humor, Comedy, Suspense, Tragedy www.BelleKarper.com                         Email Belle@BelleKarper.com WHY THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK - An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor Check out Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog! and Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle - The Ridiculous Escapades of Belle Karper on YouTube!

All on Website Save it, Baby! Count me in! Add to Technorati Favorites BelleKarper-AuthorSpeaker7.jpg picture by bellekarper

I am an OFFICAL SELECTION FINALIST for the Upcoming Beverly Hills Film Festival!

I am an OFFICAL SELECTION FINALIST for the Upcoming Beverly Hills Film Festival!

Official Selection Finalist in the Beverly Hills Film Festival!

Official Selection Finalist in the Beverly Hills Film Festival!

Yes!

What you read here is absolutely true!

YAY!

I would just like to thank all the little people who made this moment possible! Blah-Blah-Blah!

Glad to say that I am in the running for the coveted Golden Palm Award… and why not?!

Loving this.

Anybody who is in the area April 25 through 29, I would love to see you and meet up with you!

Hell, we can even have coffee!… Decaf, of course!

Can’t wait!

xoxo

Belle

Now… go feed my fish!

They are freaking hungry, man!

—–

Digital Edition only $0.99

Writer’s Digest Awarded “E.B. White and Me.” Get your copy today!

Available for ALL DIGITAL READERS!

Available at Amazon!

E.B. White and Me
E.B. White and Me
BUY IT TODAY!

xoxo

Belle

www.BelleKarper.com

Beverly Hills Film Festival - Official Selection FinalistBeverly Hills Film Festival – Official Selection Finalist

Writer's Digest Awarded AurthorAwarded Author

Fade In Awards

Fade In Awards Quarter-Finalist – still in the running!

 FIRST PLACE WINNER – MOFILM Los Angeles, Next SXSW competition in Austin, then Barcelona, Spain!

Writer's Digest Award Winner - S. Belle Karper A 78th Annual Writer’s Digest Award Winning Author

Finalist 2011 Top 25 Semi-Finalist Los Angeles Comedy Festival

Finalist 2011 10th FilmMakers International Screenwriting Awards (1st Round Qualifier — Still in Running)

Finalist 2011 New York City Gotham Film Festival – Final 5th Place Comedy

Finalist and 1st Runner Up Screenwriting Comp

Top 24 Finalist Los Angeles Reel Film Festival 2011

Contest Top 20 Finalist Atlanta PeachTree Film Festival 2011

Top 24 Finalist SkyFest Film Festival 2011

— Announcing  “PICKLED TINK” — Screwball Comedy Screenplay!   Belle Karper,

— Announcing  “MAKING UP WITH MORTELLA” — Dark Comedy about Good and Evil, the magic of MakeUp and the Beauty of the Heart.

Award-Winning Author, Screenwriter, Speaker, Humor, Comedy, Suspense, Tragedy www.BelleKarper.com                         Email Belle@BelleKarper.com WHY THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK - An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor Check out Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog! and Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle - The Ridiculous Escapades of Belle Karper on YouTube!

All on Website Save it, Baby! Count me in! Add to Technorati Favorites BelleKarper-AuthorSpeaker7.jpg picture by bellekarper

Fade In Awards

Fade In Awards

Quarter-Finalist – still in the running!

FIRST PLACE WINNER – MOFILM Los Angeles, Next SXSW competition in Austin, then Barcelona, Spain!

Writer's Digest Award Winner - S. Belle Karper A 78th Annual Writer’s Digest Award Winning Author

Finalist 2011 Top 25 Semi-Finalist Los Angeles Comedy Festival

Finalist 2011 10th FilmMakers International Screenwriting Awards (1st Round Qualifier — Still in Running)

Finalist 2011 New York City Gotham Film Festival – Final 5th Place Comedy

Finalist and 1st Runner Up Screenwriting Comp

Top 24 Finalist Los Angeles Reel Film Festival 2011

Contest Top 20 Finalist Atlanta PeachTree Film Festival 2011

Top 24 Finalist SkyFest Film Festival 2011

— Announcing  “PICKLED TINK” — Screwball Comedy Screenplay!   Belle Karper,

— Announcing  “MAKING UP WITH MORTELLA” — Dark Comedy about Good and Evil, the magic of MakeUp and the Beauty of the Heart.

Award-Winning Author, Screenwriter, Speaker, Humor, Comedy, Suspense, Tragedy www.BelleKarper.com                         Email Belle@BelleKarper.com WHY THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK - An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor Check out Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog! and Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle - The Ridiculous Escapades of Belle Karper on YouTube!

All on Website Save it, Baby! Count me in! Add to Technorati Favorites BelleKarper-AuthorSpeaker7.jpg picture by bellekarper

Mountain Biking Malibu Backbone Trail (Pics)

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Add to Technorati Favorites (Save it, Baby! Count me in!)

So, it goes like this . . .

Can you freaking believe it’s 86 degrees in January?

Hmmm… sorry East Coasters… and well, most anywhere but here.

So we have to get out an crunch some rocks, man!

Check out these pics… Awesome, Jack!

Wow! What at view! That glare is the Ocean, yeah!

Wow! What at view! That glare is the Ocean, yeah!

So we are riding up and down…

Yeah, that's me in the front...

Yeah, that's me in the front...

Still in front!

Still in front!

You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread man! (Way in front... the dot!)

You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread man! (Way in front... the dot!)

Oh yeah... Nice A$$! I mean, nice view!

Oh yeah... Nice A$$! I mean, nice view!

Only the best... Knolly.

Only the best... Knolly.

Take this view to the bank, man!

Take this view to the bank, man!

So get out and ride a bike, dude.

Super great.

Yeah!

xoxo

Belle

—–
Watch my Micro-Short for B&H Video:

—–

Digital Edition only $0.99

Writer’s Digest Awarded “E.B. White and Me.” Get your copy today!

Available for ALL DIGITAL READERS!

Available at Amazon!

E.B. White and Me

E.B. White and Me

BUY IT TODAY!

xoxo

Belle

www.BelleKarper.com

FIRST PLACE WINNER – MOFILM Los Angeles, Next SXSW competition in Austin, then Barcelona, Spain!

Writer's Digest Award Winner - S. Belle Karper A 78th Annual Writer’s Digest Award Winning Author

Finalist 2011 Top 25 Semi-Finalist Los Angeles Comedy Festival

Finalist 2011 10th FilmMakers International Screenwriting Awards (1st Round Qualifier — Still in Running)

Finalist 2011 New York City Gotham Film Festival – Final 5th Place Comedy

Finalist and 1st Runner Up Screenwriting Comp

Top 24 Finalist Los Angeles Reel Film Festival 2011

Contest Top 20 Finalist Atlanta PeachTree Film Festival 2011

Top 24 Finalist SkyFest Film Festival 2011

— Announcing  “PICKLED TINK” — Screwball Comedy Screenplay!   Belle Karper,

— Announcing  “MAKING UP WITH MORTELLA” — Dark Comedy about Good and Evil, the magic of MakeUp and the Beauty of the Heart.

Award-Winning Author, Screenwriter, Speaker, Humor, Comedy, Suspense, Tragedy www.BelleKarper.com                         Email Belle@BelleKarper.com WHY THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK - An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor Check out Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog! and Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle - The Ridiculous Escapades of Belle Karper on YouTube!

All on Website Save it, Baby! Count me in! Add to Technorati Favorites BelleKarper-AuthorSpeaker7.jpg picture by bellekarper

And, of course, watch my Skydiving Video.

Annual Silver Bash… Naughty Rules! (Pics)

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So, it goes like this . . .

This is the season, right?

Right.

To tie one on…

Get a little wacky.

Pre-Alcohol, yo.

Pre-Alcohol, yo.

Well… you have to start somehwere…

Then we go to the party…

Of course we argued about the directions to get there.

We ARE married. Gosh.

Say Hello to the Hostess... Hello Lisa. Where's the bar?

Say Hello to the Hostess... Hello Lisa. Where's the bar?

So we make the necessary rounds…

Hell-o-o! A girl's gotta eat.

Hell-o-o! A girl's gotta eat.

Drinks and food in hand…

Well, needless to say, we didn’t talk to anyone for about eight minutes…

I had to pound down these delicioso edibles, Jack!

… … …  ;-)

Now it’s time to mingle and get cozy…

Hello mingles and cozies!

Hello mingles and cozies!

Gotta say hello to some buds…

Hey Buds!

Hey Buds!

Hey more Buds!

Hey more Buds!

Too many freaking Buds... where is the bar again?

Too many freaking Buds... where is the bar again?

Answer Me!

Where’s the bar again?!

Do they keep moving the bar?

Okay now, drink in hand, time to mingle.

A beautiful Animation Director/Producer

A beautiful Animation Director/Producer

Grab a dessert, I mean my husband!

Well he’s yummy, you know.

Met the director of Mulan 2.

Met the director of Mulan 2.

He’s a fiesty, fun man. We kept jumping into other people’s pictures together.

He is better at it than me.

Man, his neck is FAST.

The night grew older, and just before the Gift Exchange/Steal/Knock-Down-Drag-Out began…

My besties had to get a fun picture!

And, No... you CAN'T see my Woo-Woo!

And, No... you CAN'T see my Woo-Woo!

But great legs, huh?

The rest out of that was undocumentable… (is that a word?!)

Happy Holidays All!

Enjoy and Drive Safely.

Xoxo

Belle

—–

Digital Edition only $0.99

Writer’s Digest Awarded “E.B. White and Me.” Get your copy today!

Available for ALL DIGITAL READERS!

Available at Amazon!

E.B. White and Me

E.B. White and Me

BUY IT TODAY!

xoxo

Belle

www.BelleKarper.com

FIRST PLACE WINNER – MOFILM Los Angeles, Next SXSW competition in Austin, then Barcelona, Spain!

Writer's Digest Award Winner - S. Belle Karper A 78th Annual Writer’s Digest Award Winning Author

Finalist 2011 Top 25 Semi-Finalist Los Angeles Comedy Festival

Finalist 2011 10th FilmMakers International Screenwriting Awards (1st Round Qualifier — Still in Running)

Finalist 2011 New York City Gotham Film Festival – Final 5th Place Comedy

Finalist and 1st Runner Up Screenwriting Comp

Top 24 Finalist Los Angeles Reel Film Festival 2011

Contest Top 20 Finalist Atlanta PeachTree Film Festival 2011

Top 24 Finalist SkyFest Film Festival 2011

— Announcing  “PICKLED TINK” — Screwball Comedy Screenplay!   Belle Karper,

— Announcing  “MAKING UP WITH MORTELLA” — Dark Comedy about Good and Evil, the magic of MakeUp and the Beauty of the Heart.

Award-Winning Author, Screenwriter, Speaker, Humor, Comedy, Suspense, Tragedy www.BelleKarper.com                         Email Belle@BelleKarper.com WHY THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK - An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor Check out Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog! and Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle - The Ridiculous Escapades of Belle Karper on YouTube!

All on Website Save it, Baby! Count me in! Add to Technorati Favorites BelleKarper-AuthorSpeaker7.jpg picture by bellekarper

And, of course, watch my Skydiving Video.

About my husband…

Bookmark and Share

Add to Technorati Favorites (Save it, Baby! Count me in!)

So, it goes like this . . .

I need to tell you about my husband…

Here I am, ready to party, right?

Here I am, ready to party, right?

There I was, dressed to the nines, on my way to the IWOSC Holiday Gala.

Sitting in a brand-new car that I just bought, which will remain nameless.

I’m driving down the road, away from my house to meet up my with “group of the night” wackos, with whom I intend to tip several martinis and cause a general disturbance.

My friends and I made plans to all drive into the city in a car together so that we could talk and laugh… With one poor sap, I mean designated driver to be left out in the uninebriated cold.  ;-)

Not me! Yay!

So there I am, driving down the street, when I hear this horrible scraping sound near the bottom of my car.

I look around at the other cars and I’m thinking, “Who’s piece of crap is making that noise?”

I drive forward, but this sound seems to follow me.

I stare at the blue car next to me with a sort of frowny face – you know, that “Get that piece of crap away from me, you’re making me look bad” kind of face.

You know, a normal “girl” face.

Yeah. That face.

:-/

What do you expect?

I’m dressed up.

I’m going to a gala.

Stop freaking stop stalking me with your nasty-crappy broken car!

Jeez!

The blue car pulls away, and then I inch forward… only to hear that scrapy-rumply sound carry along with me.

WTF?

So I pull into the left lane, waiting for the red light, trying to figure out what the heck was going on.

I open my driver side door, and there it is…

A flat tire.

A flatter than flat tire, of the likes I have never seen.

Flatter than my grandma’s German pancakes!

Flatter than my first training bra!

Flatter than Nicki Minaj’s note that she holds in that one song– EEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeEee…

Now, that’s flat!

Holy F— sh–… well, let’s just say that my mouth wasn’t as pretty as my dress was.

Have to cross three lanes of traffic turning left, going about a foot per second…

That is slooooooooow, maaaaaaaaaan.

You can imagine how popular I was to the oncoming traffic.

I had so many middle fingers pointing at me, it probably comprised a whole hand… Maybe two… Maybe three.

Who’s counting?

Hey! I’ve got middle fingers of my own, you know.

However, I was so beautifully dressed, my hair so beautifully coiffed, and my my make-up so beautifully spread, that I was not about to tarnish all that darn beauty with a bunch of foul F-ing language…

So I am glad to tell you that I appraised the situation with inward “F. U’s.”

Inward.

You would have been proud of me.

I then had to pull into a parking lot at that horrifying-lightning-slow speed. I was as popular with the people now behind me as with the people I had just passed.

“Screw you!” I am thinking… Inwardly.

Ever inward.

This inward stuff sucks!

I finally found a parking space. One of those “small” ones. A freaking “compact” spot.

But hey, it’s all I got. I guess I can have to suffer the fact that someone will whack the sides my brand-new car door.

That almost irritates me as much as the flat tire.

So yes, yes! I AM LATE NOW.

I hate to be late.

And, now… I have to make the call of shame…

Crap, I hate that call of shame…

“Hey, I–”

“We’re on our way.”

“I got a flat tire. (Ugh.) Can you pick me up?” I ask my friends.

So we go through the verbal-telephone-dance of improper directions, until I am finally able to let them know (with some sort of minimal success) where I am deflated.

Now, the worst part.

I have to call my husband.

I hate being rescued.

I am a woman, God dammit!

I should be able to handle these things myself!

I should be able to call AAA, and have this flat tire… this tire that has ruined my day… and interrupted my night… fixed.

Right?

But heck… I’m all dressed up.

I have a party to go to.

I’ve got three martinis at least with my name on them.

And, those are big-assed martinis…

Call of shame #2…

“Hi hon–”

“Have fun tonight!” he says so sweetly.

I cringe.

Crap.

“I’ve got a flat tire.”

“Aaaah. I’m sorry. Just call AAA.”

“I can’t! I’m already late for the party!”

“But you’ve got a flat… you have to fix it.”

Ummmm.

And, this is where I will have to ask a question.

A difficult question, yes.

A painful question, especially for a woman such as I, considering my strength and resolve, the things I have gone through… yes, this next question will be particularly hard.

And then, after that question, there will be a sentence.

A breath, and then an utterance, and then a sentence.

A sentence that will determine what kind of man I married.

This next sentence, will tell me… if he is “hero” material…

Do I really want to have this confirmed… or denied?

Do I really want to know the answer to this question so early in our married life?

We are still on our honeymoon phase, for God’s sake.

Am I ready to find out… if he can be… a hero… for me?

I look at my watch.

I pretend it has a secondhand, so that I can imagine the seconds that are ticking by.

He persists, “You have your AAA card, don’t you?”

“Yeah, but… I… I’m… I mean… I’m late for the gala thing. And I don’t have time to wait for AAA…”

Silence on the other end…

I continue, “can YOU come after work and do the AAA thingy?”

There. I said it. I asked it.

Now I wait.

Hero? Not hero?

“You want leave your car there and pick it up after your party?”

“Well, I will have been drinking… you know…”

Which is true. I would be useless at that point.

I look for my ride. Not there yet. My party co-horts are still driving trying to find me. I have a little time… to wait… for my hero to emerge…

“No Problem.”

What? What am I hearing?

Is that my hero talking?

“After work, I’ll come and change your tire.”

“You will?”

He will?

He will!

Of course, he will!

“You’d do the same for me, right?”

I would?

I mean, “I would. I mean of course I would! Gosh-yeah. Extra keys are on the hook, okay?”

“Of course, baby! Now you go out and have fun at your party.”

Do I hear a Hero, talking or what?!

That’s a Hero, alright!

And, guess what? He’s MY Hero! And, dare I say it… It seems that he loves me!

Ooops! There are the girls, “I gotta go, honey. My friends are here. And, thank you! I love you!”

“I love you, too.”

Eureka!

As I stepped out of my 3/4-inflated car, and sashayed in all my doll-ness to the awaiting car of giggles and glee.

I looked back on my humbled car with confidence, knowing that my Hero was en-route.

Let me tell you – that is a super-fine feeling– to know that your Hero is on his way…

SOOOO…..Let it be known that I had a great time at the gala. Green Martinis and all…

And somewhere half way through the night, after he personally had changed my tire…

With his own two hands, no less… and a jack.

After he removed each lug nut, probably silently cursing my name…

And, dang that I missed that he was probably that scruffy-sexy-dirty… you know that kind of sexy-dirty… where he’s a man, doing manly things, getting manly dirty, and well dang, it manly-sexy hot!

Yeah, I missed all that…

Dang.

But, my phone buzzed as George was serving us decaf coffee and cream, my husband sent me a text, “Hope you’re having a great time. Car is back, the flat tire is changed.”

What a guy? What an amazing, wonderful guy.

And, the cursing part, well that’s okay, because he IS a man.

A freaking hot-sexy-manly man!

Man that uses his manly powers to have his way with me…

… … … ;-)

And, well, ladies, I have to tell you that It’s good to test your men from time to time, to find out if they are heroes or not.

Because every once in a while, and I don’t mean everyday, but every once in a while you might just need your very own Hero.

Girls… and it’s okay to be rescued every-so-often… (not TOO often)… and how wonderful that it be from the one man in the world that you love the most.

(Yay!)

BTW, he’s MY hero, Chicas.

Back off, bi-atches!

Now I’ve got to go smudge my lipstick to thank him…

Well… he IS a man…     ;-)

Xoxo

Belle

My Manly Man Hero... and Me!

My Manly Man Hero... and Me!

—–

Digital Edition only $0.99

Writer’s Digest Awarded “E.B. White and Me.” Get your copy today!

Available for ALL DIGITAL READERS!

Available at Amazon!

E.B. White and Me

E.B. White and Me

BUY IT TODAY!

xoxo

Belle

www.BelleKarper.com

FIRST PLACE WINNER – MOFILM Los Angeles, Next SXSW competition in Austin, then Barcelona, Spain!

Writer's Digest Award Winner - S. Belle Karper A 78th Annual Writer’s Digest Award Winning Author

Finalist 2011 Top 25 Semi-Finalist Los Angeles Comedy Festival

Finalist 2011 10th FilmMakers International Screenwriting Awards (1st Round Qualifier — Still in Running)

Finalist 2011 New York City Gotham Film Festival – Final 5th Place Comedy

Finalist and 1st Runner Up Screenwriting Comp

Top 24 Finalist Los Angeles Reel Film Festival 2011

Contest Top 20 Finalist Atlanta PeachTree Film Festival 2011

Top 24 Finalist SkyFest Film Festival 2011

— Announcing  “PICKLED TINK” — Screwball Comedy Screenplay!   Belle Karper,

— Announcing  “MAKING UP WITH MORTELLA” — Dark Comedy about Good and Evil, the magic of MakeUp and the Beauty of the Heart.

Award-Winning Author, Screenwriter, Speaker, Humor, Comedy, Suspense, Tragedy www.BelleKarper.com                         Email Belle@BelleKarper.com WHY THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK - An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor Check out Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog! and Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle - The Ridiculous Escapades of Belle Karper on YouTube!

All on Website Save it, Baby! Count me in! Add to Technorati Favorites BelleKarper-AuthorSpeaker7.jpg picture by bellekarper

And, of course, watch my Skydiving Video.

IWOSC Holiday Dinner Gala at Los Angeles Biltmore

Bookmark and Share

Add to Technorati Favorites (Save it, Baby! Count me in!)

So, it goes like this . . .

Well, it time of year again!

The time for laughing loud, green martinis, and general mayhem!

So let’s get this party started!

Belle's on the way to the ball!

Belle's on the way to the ball!

Where's the freaking car? Let's get out of here!

Where's the freaking car? Let's get out of here!

West Valley contingent holding up the dang tree!

West Valley contingent holding up the dang tree!

Where's my martini?

Where's my martini?

Sitting on Santa Steven Sanchez's lap!

Sitting on Santa Steven Sanchez's lap!

Oh yeah!... naughty Santa!

Oh yeah!... naughty Santa!

Can you believe that I GOT A FLAT TIRE on the way there, and STILL HAD THIS MUCH FUN??!!

Digital Edition only $0.99

Writer’s Digest Awarded “E.B. White and Me.” Get your copy today!

Available for ALL DIGITAL READERS!

Available at Amazon!

E.B. White and Me

E.B. White and Me

BUY IT TODAY!

xoxo

Belle

www.BelleKarper.com

FIRST PLACE WINNER – MOFILM Los Angeles, Next SXSW competition in Austin, then Barcelona, Spain!

Writer's Digest Award Winner - S. Belle Karper A 78th Annual Writer’s Digest Award Winning Author

Finalist 2011 Top 25 Semi-Finalist Los Angeles Comedy Festival

Finalist 2011 10th FilmMakers International Screenwriting Awards (1st Round Qualifier — Still in Running)

Finalist 2011 New York City Gotham Film Festival – Final 5th Place Comedy

Finalist and 1st Runner Up Screenwriting Comp

Top 24 Finalist Los Angeles Reel Film Festival 2011

Contest Top 20 Finalist Atlanta PeachTree Film Festival 2011

Top 24 Finalist SkyFest Film Festival 2011

— Announcing  “PICKLED TINK” — Screwball Comedy Screenplay!   Belle Karper,

— Announcing  “MAKING UP WITH MORTELLA” — Dark Comedy about Good and Evil, the magic of MakeUp and the Beauty of the Heart.

Award-Winning Author, Screenwriter, Speaker, Humor, Comedy, Suspense, Tragedy www.BelleKarper.com                         Email Belle@BelleKarper.com WHY THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK - An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor Check out Belle Karper’s – Beauties and Beasts – Blog! Baby! Blog! and Belle Karper Face Book & the popular Twitter-Belle - The Ridiculous Escapades of Belle Karper on YouTube!

All on Website Save it, Baby! Count me in! Add to Technorati Favorites BelleKarper-AuthorSpeaker7.jpg picture by bellekarper

And, of course, watch my Skydiving Video.

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