Laundry, is like . . .

 (Save it, Baby! Count me in!)

So, it goes like this . . .

 

. . . the Spring Time scent, like it says on the box . . .

. . . Wow, I love how it makes me feel like a woman . . .

. . . Laundry is like . . .

. . . A pain my my ass . . .

. . . I woke up this morning singing. Delighted with the honor of  “doing the laundry” for my dear family . . .

. . . More like, I woke up this morning, struggled to get out of the sheets (that also need to be washed), stumbled to my drawer, and said, “Sh!t, I have no frigging clean underwear . . .

. . . Crap . . .

. . . Now, I’ve got to do the stinking laundry . . .

. . . Contemplating the inside-out maneuver just to buy me one more day of no laundry . . .

. . . Checking . . .

. . . Inside-out maneuver unavailable . . .

. . . Use your imagination . . .

. . . You’re just too damn naughty . . .

. . . I like that in a person . . .

. . . I repeat, the inside-out maneuver unavailable . . .

. . . Did I say that I just love being a woman? . . .

. . . Drag the laundry out of the room piles that my children have left for me. No, no. I am not forced to look in any baskets . . .

. . . My children are far too thoughtful for that . . .

. . . No, no . . . they leave them out where I can easily pick up those dirty little morsels of laundry fun! . . . 

. . . The center of their rooms . . . or tucked nicely near their toilets . . .

. . .  So charming, laundry day is, Oui? . . .

. . . Oooh, laundry makes me feel french . . .

. . . like I’m European . . .

. . . like I’m bi-lingual . . .

. . . like I’m bi-polar . . .

. . . I digress . . .

. . . Nicely stacked piles of color-separated clothing . . .

. . . 18 piles of Holy-Crap, I “I don’t give a flying rat’s ass, I just wish I were on Bewitched and could ‘twinkle’ my nose” . . .

. . . looking at the “tinkle” stain from dog as she lifts her leg on my “whites” . . .

. . . Confounded how the piles keep growing . . .

. . . just like my children . . .

. . . How the stains keep showing . . .

. . . I’m using Spray ‘n’ Wash Goddammit!  What else can I do? . . .

. . . Save me from my Laundry Mediocrity . . .

. . . I want my clothes to smell the freshest, be the cleanest, and be the white-est white there ever fricking was . . . is . . . huh?

. . . I think that the Snuggle liquid softener is a little too close to my water glass . . .

. . . the Spring Time scent, like it says on the box . . .

. . . Wow, I love how it makes me feel like a woman . . .

. . . Laundry, is like . . .

. . . Inevitable . . .

—–

So, you come back, now. Ya’ hear?

Be well Dahhhhlings,

Belle

S. Belle Karper, Author, Speaker www.BelleKarper.com
THE WIDOW WEARS BLACK - An Edgy Memoir from an Outspoken Survivor
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Save it, Baby! Count me in!